Snapshots: An X-ray of Cameroon�s Democracy, Governance and Unification

57. Red Carpet for Monkeys

233 57 Red Carpet for Monkeys Friday 7 December 2007 The red carpet reception given last week to four gorillas that had been rescued and repatriated and are now being rehabilitated at the Limbe Zoo looked like the final act of a comedy inspired by the theatre of the absurd. A high-powered delegation led by the Minister of Forestry and Wildlife were on hand to receive the highly-priced endangered species in a solemn ceremony that would have won the admiration of great satirical playwrights like Ionesco and Samuel Beckett. We were all brought up to show kindness to animals and most religions do prescribe civilised ways of slaying them for food. No one quarrels with that. However, the exaggerated concern and near reverential treatment of wildlife species especially in a society where government pays little attention to the general well-being of citizens, smacks of hypocrisy. The whole show smacked of hypocrisy. Sometime ago we were treated to a less exaggerated show of hypocrisy when a certain lion died, I suppose from old age, at the Mvog-Betsi Zoo in Yaounde. It became such a veritable media event that I half expected the government to declare a national day of mourning with the national flag flying at half mast especially as the lion is the totem of the Lion Man. With regard to the four primates which were accorded a hero’s welcome from captivity, it may not be wrong to assume that huge financial and human resources by far greater than the black market value of the great apes were deployed to track their whereabouts and repatriate them from South Africa. One can imagine the quality of detective networking that was put in place (and I won’t be surprised if Interpol or even the CIA, 234 SPECTRE were put on red alert) to rescue our distinguished super primates, not your regular stuff for pepper soup. Yes, we should be kind to animals even though I take exception to certain kinds of animals like snakes and rabid dogs. And talking about dogs, I recall lounging once upon a time on the terrace of one of these de Luxe hotels and waiting to catch up with an appointment. I was beginning to get bored when I saw this stooping old white lady walking this petite breed of dog they call Chihuahua on a leash. When she passed by me, I decided to put on a menacing look, pointed mischievously at the dog and remarked that her companion would make a very nice and juicy dinner. She pretended not to have heard me, so I further explained that since it looked rather fragile and tender, it would taste better if it were barbecued, not boiled. The poor lady stopped abruptly on her tracks, dumbfounded and speechless. Her cheeks flushed crimson and she did not know whether to flee, scream or just buckle under and weep. It would be unwise, I told her as a matter of fact, to stroll around with such a specimen of good meat in my part of the country. She glared at me in disbelief. Her hands began to tremble as she stammered in a quavering voice: You – a – not serious! She cursed and cursed and cursed and when I realised she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I burst out a belly laughter to let her know I was only joking. She obviously didn’t think I was joking, but I eventually managed to calm her anxiety by telling her the name of her breed. By the time I got around talking about St. Bernard’s, German Shepherds, Alsatians, etc, she had regained her composure and was reassured no harm would come to her dog. White people in general, excepting those from Latin - speaking countries, have carried their culture of individualism to such an extent that it is regarded as unbecoming to bodily express emotions towards their fellow humankind in the form of handshakes, hugging and holding hands. They tend to recoil from such gestures and by the time they are past middle age, they resort to lavishing their pent up sentiments on 235 pets and think nothing of sharing their comfortable beds with cats, dogs and even horses. Hence they have special supermarkets for pet food, clinics and even day care centres for pets. That’s their cup of tea. However, while I think it is salutary to respect...