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61 Despair (For G. Shadrach Ambanasom) I This hour so bleak This moment so hopeless When all seem lost When all seem in vain And the spirit of Disaster smiling satisfaction, I wonder ever so often, If life be not an expensive game With man an accursed pawn With spirits beaming at the Futility or success of strategies As now some human survives Only to die then Like an unfortunate Queen. II For how long Lord Must I love return Instead of hate for hate? How much more Lord Must I their lashing tongues In sterile muteness withstand? How much longer Lord Must I their baseless caustic tales About me ignore? With my own have I Become a bear at the stake, With my own A farm horse turned With scars on the hide Of my pride Yet I must my neighbor 62 Like myself love? Yet thou art all-knowing; Even then, Lord, How thorny is thy path. For once Lord let me answer back, Like the human being that I am, Or did you say seventy times seventy times? III Lord, have I not asked? Lord have I not sought? Lord have I not knocked? My heart tells me you’ve answered, Yet how low is thy voice; My soul tells me you are revealing Yet how blurred is the scene? My being tells me you’ve opened But I heard not thy door creak. Yet I know you are Truth And devotion to your words. Even then Lord, How so subtle thou art. And believe I must Else what is life about. ...

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