I Spit on their Graves: Testimony Relevant to the Democratization Struggle in Cameroon

It is All A Sham, Make Believe

53 It is All A Sham, Make Believe R ecently, the war strategy and propaganda Minister of the ruling junta, Augustin Kontchou Koumegni, called a press conference; not to diabolize and rundown Fru Ndi but to talk AIDS! My mind immediately went back to one of the most memorable of his infamous press conferences to which he arrived looking haggard, dishevelled and insomniac, his big red eyes threatening to pop out of their sockets. I did not attend this particular conference but watched it over the television at my favourite drinking spot in Djoungolo. It was one of those occasions during which the television set stood in permanent danger of being punched or kicked, as we listened to the incredible outrages of this phenomenon from Baham. At a point when irate tension was reading breaking point, someone shouted: “Are you sure this fellow is not suffering from AIDS?” We all roared with laughter and that helped in no small way to release the tension and relax the nerves. It was really very refreshing to hear Professor Kontchou, who really must be as omniscient as any Cameroonian could be, talking AIDS for a change. At this rate I’m sure that he may soon be able to visit Baham. What man is it who wouldn’t dare visit his own natal village? My guess is that Honourable Zero Mort has handed over his former functions to the mendicant clown called Gustave Essaka. This latter, who says he is the leader of DIC, (what on earth is DIC? Is it a person, a place or a thing? Your guess, as usual, is as good as mine!) was also present in Washington, USA, during Bill Clinton´s inaugural ceremonies. Even as leader of DIC he was unable to meet Bill Clinton but, when he returned, he wrote him a letter. 54 Godfrey B. Tangwa (Rotcod Gobata) In the letter, he pointed out that he had proved his respect for Bill by attending his inauguration “notwithstanding the meagre means of DIC.” (Maybe he expects the Americans to reimburse him). He then exposed two “shameless lies” by Ni John Fru Ndi, namely, that he (JFN) was invited to Bill Clinton’s swearing-in ceremonies “personally” and that he (JFN) shook hands with Bill Clinton. Essaka asks Clinton not to be Fru Ndi´s friend and not to support him (JFN) because with him (JFN) Cameroon risks being colonized “humanitarianly.” (All scholars and social scientists to take note of this new concept of humanitarian colonialism!). The author of humanitarian colonialism then concludes his letter by asserting that it is Paul Biya not Fru Ndi who brought democracy to Cameroon. Proof: he, Gustave Essaka, leader of DIC, was formerly a political refugee! How does that prove who brought democracy to Cameroon? That is the question that needs an answer. But that was only a digression. I was talking about the fact that Kontchou has started talking about AIDS during his press conferences. Add to this the fact that the CRTV has recently also started occasionally announcing the Chairman’s rallies. You may then jump to the conclusion that things are really beginning to change in this country in a democratic direction. But, permit me to say that you are wrong, once more. It is all a sham. It is all make-believe. It is all so much smoke and dust in the eyes. Nothing, absolutely nothing, has changed for the better in this country. We are headed for more dictatorship, more repression, more subterfuges, more stratagems, more empty rhetoric and the real danger of completely destroying this beautiful country. I am not an alarmist or anything of the sort. Check my track record of analyses and predictions and judge for yourself. If you doubt me, then you have, perhaps, not yet tried to register on the new electoral list. To go by what you occasionally hear over the radio concerning the exercise, 55 I Spit on their Graves: Testimony Relevant to the Democratization Struggle you would surely be led to think that, in spite of having started two months behind the legal stipulation, that we are at last about to lay the foundations of veritable democracy. But on the field, it is a completely different story. The whole exercise is nothing short of a big farce. The so-called registration commission was in my quarter for only three days. It took the son of Gobata...