I Spit on their Graves: Testimony Relevant to the Democratization Struggle in Cameroon

Sir, I Like your American Accent, But...

37 Sir, I Like Your American Accent, But… Y ou may think I am talking about Lucas Ananga. No. I used to call him Luke Ananga. But recently I joined the chorus in calling him Lucas Ananga. At first I didn’t like the sound of “Lucas.” It sounds so old-fashioned, so ballardish, if you get what I mean. I know someone who was baptized “Nicholas” at birth but who today could fight you if you called him that. He has since become “Nicky” and nothing else. Before I started calling Luke Lucas or rather before I stopped calling Lucas Luke, I had an interesting encounter with some young fellows after one of Lucas’ (pronounced Lucasis) now famous political analyses. He is a senior political analyst, you know. These young fellows continued yapping about Lucas Ananga and his political yabies, which clearly make him one of the best apologists of the New Deal regime. I told them that I shared their point of view but that why did they insist on calling the young old man (with his remarkable moustache) “Lucas”? One of them retorted: “Doesn’t he look like an ass?” “Not to me,” I replied. “Then you had better look again,” he enjoined, “for Lucas Ananga is nothing but a nagging ass!” After listening to a few more of his political analyses, I unconsciously also started calling him “Lucas.” No, I am not talking about Lucas. I don’t admire an Anglophone who speaks English with an American accent. If an Anglophone really wants to speak English, let it be Queen’s English, BBC English. Like Peter Essoka. But, 38 Godfrey B. Tangwa (Rotcod Gobata) unlike Peter, without sophism and equivocations, clearly calculated to parry deadly blows destined for the regime within which he was found worthy to be a Director. After Lucas Ananga’s own directorate of senior political analyses assured us here that no Cameroonian had been invited to Bill Clinton’s inauguration ceremonies, we saw Lucas himself there conversing in a quiet corner with the black American preacher, Jesse Jackson. His American accent must have proved very useful at that point in time. Then we got further assurances from the political directorate that no Cameroonian had shaken hands with Bill Clinton. Now back home, the directorate has taken several days noising it all over the place that Bill Clinton had written to Paul Biya…in answer to his (Biya’s) letter… congratulating him (Clinton). No one ever told us Paul Biya had written to congratulate Bill Clinton. So what do we have on our plates, thanks to the political analyses? The following scenario: Paul Biya sent a letter of congratulations to Bill Clinton which was duly acknowledged. America never congratulated Paul Biya when he purportedly won his own presidential elections last October. Instead, the Americans invited Ni John Fru Ndi who claims to have won the presidential elections which Biya coveted and Bill Clinton found the time to meet John Fu Ndi after which he answered Biya’s letter. No political analysis is required here. It’s all clear, as Kontchou would say. It’s really amazing that the strategists of this power-drunk regime have not yet realized the futility and counterproductiveness of their cherished propaganda method of denials and disclaimers. Recently we had one good one. It was vehemently disclaimed that His Excellency, our Head of State, was going to wed the daughter of a neighbouring Head of State on 12th February 1993. Well, no one said that he would not wed her on another date. And, the wedding apart, no one denied that he knows the young princess the way Adam knew Eve. So, where are we? 39 I Spit on their Graves: Testimony Relevant to the Democratization Struggle Sorry for the digression. Sometimes I get carried away. It is Antoine Ntsimi, the Honourable Minister of Finance, whose American accent I so admire. When a full-blooded Francophone speaks American English the way Mr. Ntsimi does, you just can’t help admiring him. America, with its highly liberal and democratic values, is at the farthest remove from France and its African neo-colonies with their highly repressive dictatorships animated with democratic rhetoric. I once visited France (Paris) in 1982 and I noticed that French people admire American English greatly. If you committed a misdemeanour such as driving on the wrong side of the road or using the “Metro” without...