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Jumping Throug h Hoop s Bai Wei Translated b y Jing M. Wan g Born Huan g Zhang (1894-1987) in Zixing, Hunan, she renamed herselfBaiWei. Bai was fencedintoan abusivemarriage at the age of sixteen. She escaped to become a student at Hengyang Third Normal School (Hengyang disan shifan xuexiao). In 1918 she enrolled at Changsha First Women s Normal School (Changsha diyi niizi shifan xuexiao). Upon graduation Bai ran away to Tokyo and continued her education there in extreme financial strain. She started her writingcareer in1922 and wrote poetry, fiction, essays, and drama. Bai is mainly remembered today as a playwright. Her most important plays include Lin Li (1926) and Breaking Out of the Ghost's Tower (Da chu you ling ta, 1928). She also wrote a novel entitled The Bom b and the Migrating Bird (Zhadan yu zhengniao, 1929). Often ignored, however, are her autobiographicalwritings,whichinclude the short pieceselected here and My Tragic Life (Beiju shengya, 1936), a 900-page text that portrays the subject's prolonged battle to survive sexually transmitted disease and her desire to join the revolutionary tide of her time. I Despair and hope had battled i n me for quite some time now. A fire burned in my heart. Ho t bloo d rushe d lik e ocean waves. Although I had a n iro n will, a n overwhelmin g forc e presse d m e down , almos t crushin g m y min d and body! I always longed to fly, fly, fly — like a bird caged for a long time. I struggle d s o bitterl y t o escap e tha t m y min d an d bod y wer e extremel y fatigued, lik e weathered flowers . 44 • BA I WEI Father, my life-giver, teacher , doctor and nurse in sickness, Father who loved m e and ye t would kill me. From ou r hometown a t th e foot o f Dayu Mountain righ t o n th e borde r betwee n Huna n provinc e an d Guangdon g province, he came to Changsha to wait for my two sisters and I to graduate from Changsh a Firs t Women' s Norma l School , s o tha t h e coul d dra g u s home an d present us as gifts t o others. Then hi s worries would come to a n end. When I saw him, I felt lov e in my heart. I wanted t o hug him and kiss him a s a littl e gir l woul d kis s her mother . Bu t I shuddered, a s i f th e sk y was going to fall on me, when I thought of the purpose of his visit, especially what i t woul d mea n fo r me . I felt tha t th e monstrou s claw s o f feudalis m had snatched me in the midst of a thunderstorm. Endless horror envelope d me, throwin g m e int o a sea of sorrow! Oh, m y beloved father , teacher , an d doctor ! At tha t moment , he wa s the judg e t o pronounc e m y deat h sentence , th e go d o f death t o en d m y life! Thes e ar e th e way s I fel t abou t him . H e oppresse d m e wit h feuda l constraints, to o sever e t o b e reasonable . H e di d th e sam e t o m y younge r sister Xian . Oh, Xian, the singing bird! She was a healthy and lively girl with a fair complexion . Sh e wa s know n i n th e entir e Huna n provinc e fo r he r singing, dancing , an d gymnasti c skills . He r vigor , candor , an d carefre e nature made everyone believe that she was capable of nothing but joy an d would neve r experienc e sorrow . She wa s a singing bir d i n th e clouds , happy a s a fairy ! About six months before we graduated, she became depressed and cried a lot . He r tear s frequentl y we t he r dres s an d desk . He r classmate s wer e shocked an d wep t fo r he r i n sympathy . Only I remaine d calm . Whil e other s trie d t...

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