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The Songs 165 Song 96 Paying the Flower-debt I think my destiny is fulfilled, or perhaps my flower-debt is paid off; 'Debts paid off and destiny fulfilled' stirs up in me the sorrow of parting and the anguish of farewell. When we two were so infatuated with each other, could I have ever dreamt our love would not last? As I recall the past pleasure of wind and moon [i.e. her romance and erotic activity] it is as if my dream was shattered, my soul bewitched. When first we met, I was still very young; Pouring out to you the secrets of my innermost heart, I dreaded to hear the cock crowing over the water. I only thought that our time was so long, we should plan together; Little did I know that because of the deep love between you and your wife you could never bring the lowly me to your home. You have broken my stem; I am left drifting; and I trust no one to bind it up again.244 I am thinking about myself: how aimlessly I am drifting; I must find a resting place. Today men say we are callous; even if this is not true, it seems to be true; Even among my very many sisters [i.e. other courtesans] is there one who can understand how troubled my heart is?245 This green garment I am wearing is drenched with my tears. I should reconsider it. My lord, you have most certainly hardened your heart against me, and you have no desire to see me Because from the very day I heard you say, 'I am going', never, never have you returned. 244 See Song 11 (Part 2), line 6. 245 See Song 56 (Part 2), line 4. The Songs Song 96 Paying the Flower-debt 165 I think my destiny is fulfilled, or perhaps my flower-debt is paid off; 'Debts paid off and destiny fulfilled' stirs up in me the sorrow of parting and the anguish of farewell. When we two were so infatuated with each other, could I have ever dreamt our love would not last? As I recall the past pleasure of wind and moon [i.e. her romance and erotic activity] it is as if my dream was shattered, my soul bewitched. When first we met, I was still very young; Pouring out to you the secrets of my innermost heart, I dreaded to hear the cock crowing over the water. I only thought that our time was so long, we should plan together; Little did I know that because of the deep love between you and your wife you could never bring the lowly me to your home. You have broken my stem; I am left drifting; and I trust no one to bind it up again.244 I am thinking about myself: how aimlessly I am drifting; I must find a resting place. Today men say we are callous; even if this is not true, it seems to be true; Even among my very many sisters [i.e. other courtesans] is there one who can understand how troubled my heart is?245 This green garment I am wearing is drenched with my tears. I should reconsider it. My lord, you have most certainly hardened your heart against me, and you have no desire to see me Because from the very day I heard you say, 'I am going', never, never have you returned. 244 See Song 11 (Part 2), line 6. 245 See Song 56 (Part 2), line 4. ...

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