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174 letter 59 To Elizabeth Akers Allen February 12, [1876] New York City, New York 329 E 15 12th Feb. Dear Elizabeth, What a wry world this is—If I did not know our own experience I could not possibly understand how a woman of your ability could be so situated as you appear to be. Did you ever think that our results may be owing to ourselves our idiosyncrasies, faults, that our misfortunes are not wholly due to circumstances outside us? I judge myself so in a degree and so I do Stoddard. With patience, charity unrelenting self-discipline, utter unselfishness high intellectual endeavor I see that to day all these forces kept in operation I should be much more a success. But I have been too high tempered, censorious, had a contempt for my kind, made people fear instead of love. I went to Dr. Holland’s1 day reception last week, the first time I have been out really and there I was conscious of being an object of curiosity and fear rather than affection. I do wish I could hear some good news from you. How is Mr Allen2 —is he still unfortunate—you are both lonely. Your poem was excellent and your daughters sketch was creepy, weird.3 Let her turn her talent into the genial, because I think she shows power in a degree. We go on much the old way fretted by bonds that cord down nerves and muscles. S. is at work on A Century After4 and doing a long paper for Harper.5 I cumber the ground. My husband and child love me I am that worth. By the way I never was in love with the former. I love him and am bound to him—perhaps his death would kill me, but to my ideal of my love, I never approached with him. Do write me when you are in the mood— would that I could lift the burden one inch. Ever yours Elizabeth 175 Manuscript: Elizabeth Akers Allen Papers, Colby College notes 1. Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819–1881), poet, novelist, and editor of Scribner’s Monthly. 2. Elijah M. Allen. See Letter 53, note 7. According to an autobiographical document written later in life, Akers Allen’s husband had essentially abandoned her and their daughter Grace in 1874 because he felt unable to support them. After struggling to make a living from periodical publication, Akers Allen took an editorial position with the Portland Advertiser, where she worked until 1881, when she and her husband reconciled. (See “History of One Woman’s Financial Experience,” Elizabeth Akers Allen Papers, Colby College.) During this period, Stoddard seems to know that Akers Allen and her husband are not living together, but she does not seem aware of their marital difficulties. 3. Akers Allen’s eldest daughter, born Florence Percy Taylor (1855–??), was also a writer. It is not clear whether or not she published under her own name at this time, however, as “Florence Percy” was also the pseudonym that Akers Allen herself used until the mid to late 1860s; Florence’s last name also seems to have changed each time her mother remarried. She published at least one poem in the Aldine late in 1876 as “Florence Percy Allen,” but by the 1890s was working as a journalist in San Francisco under the name “Florence Percy Matheson.” In 1905 she was married to fellow journalist Philip Willis McIntyre (1849–??) and moved back to Portland, Maine, where both of them had been born. 4. Richard edited A Century After: Picturesque Glimpses of Philadelphia and Pennsylvania (1876) for the Centennial Exhibition of 1876, held in Philadelphia. 5. Most likely “Lord Macaulay and His Friends,” published in Harper’s New Monthly Magazine in June and July 1876. ...

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