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72 People are Different from Each Other With apologies to Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick *Even identical genital acts mean different things to different people. *To some people the aura of “the sexual” seems scarcely to extend beyond the boundaries of discrete genital acts; to others it enfolds them loosely or floats virtually free around everything. *Many people have their richest mental or emotional involvement with sexual acts that they don’t do, or even don’t want to do. *For some people it is important that sex be embedded in contexts resonant with meaning, narrative, and connectedness with other aspects of their lives; for other people, it is important that they not be; to others it doesn’t occur that they might be. *Some people like spontaneous sexual scenes, others like highly scripted ones. *For some people the preference for a certain sexual object, act, role, zone, or scenario is immemorial and durable, and feels innate; for others it is accidental, discretionary. *For some people the possibility of bad sex is aversive enough that their lives are strongly marked by its avoidance; for others it isn’t; for others still, bad sex is the only possibility. ...

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