Carnal Fragrance

Playing With Your Shoes

46 Playing With Your Shoes Laughter was unexpected. Our daughters, helping me sort things out, start playing with your shoes. Amy finds two pair she can wear to work. They are nearly new, and she is so much like you. Jessie remembers putting on your shoes when she was six or seven, pretending to be you home from work, asking “What’s new?” After they leave, there are still your shirts to do, pants, belts, eyeglasses, the change on the dresser, the pipes—the pipes you finally stopped smoking when you needed breath to walk— the stale shreds of tobacco, unread books, jackets and sweaters and pictures, anomalous bikini underwear— am I telling too much? 47 They are mine to touch and sift, decide what to save, what to give away. Every room in the house bears your scent. You left me weary work. I used to hum when I worked, but now I concentrate, consider the moral consequence of this disownment. ...