I Can't Remember: Family Stories of Alzheimer's Disease

Jean's Story

JEAN'S STORY Copyrighted Material Louise Johnson, ninety, and Lina Whitmire, ninetyone , have been best friendsfor seventy years. They are now roommates in a nursing home. They both have Alzheimer's disease. Lo~!ise's daughter, Jean , tells their story. Copyrighted Material Myhusband, Act, and I had been living in Seattle when we first suspected something was wrong with Mother. We had returned to St. Louis, where I grew up, for Christmas. When we told Mother that we would be coming, she began to plan a number of activities. She was very social. She loved company. She loved to entertain. Christmas was always a wonderful time in her home even though I was an only child. When we arrived in St. Louis, both Art and I were very aware that there was something wrong. Mother's personality seemed to be changing ; her values seemed to be changing, and oftentimes the things she said were not completely true. Instead of staying two weeks as we had planned, we stayed four months. During that time I saw Mother age, and I felt uncomfortable that she was living alone. We went back to Seattle. We sold our home and we moved to St. Louis. Mother insisted that we live with her. We wanted our own house, but I was the only child; whatever was my mother's was mine, didn't I realize that? Whenever we would talk about moving, Mother would say, "I am not going to leave this house. I love this house." Art and I realized that she was not going to leave and that we were going to be staying right there. We completely remodeled the kitchen because Art is quite a gourmet. Until this day I can see Mother washing the dishes. She Copyrighted Material 93 JEAN'S STORY 94 would open a drawer and the drawer she opened was not the drawer that the object belonged in. She would look up at me and say, "I always knew where everything in this kitchen went and now you have changed it and I don't know where anything goes." I would laugh and say, "Well, you will learn in due time." But due time never came. Slowly but surely I saw that she would find excuses for not coming into the kitchen. I look back now and realize why she couldn't find where things were supposed to go. I should have been tipped off that she was a wonderful actress and as time went on I found out what an excellent actress she really was. It is difficult for me to think of everything that happened and the sequence in which it happened because I didn't keep a journal. I'm sorry I didn't, because there were so many things I thought I would never forget, but the mind erases everything very, very quickly and I guess that too is very, very fortunate for all of us. Mother belonged to various organizations and she loved to play bridge. That was always a big part of her life. She would get up, get dressed, and off to lunch she would go and play cards in the afternoon. Her friends started calling me intimating that Mother was having a little difficulty playing cards or Mother's personality was changing or Mother had said something to someone that was most unlike my mother. One friend began, "Jean, I don't know how to tell you but Copyrighted Material One-way conversations help Jean keep whatever is left of her relationship with her mother. She talks to her mother as she did before her mother's illness, as if Louise can still understand, care, and want to know about her daughter's daily life. Copyrighted Material 95 96 Copyrighted Material Two sets of friends. The daughters have been friends since childhood, the mothers, friends since early in their marriages. They continue to share experiences. Copyrighted Material 97 98 Louise is in the last stage of the disease . Lina still recognizes her daughter , Whitney, and makes attempts to c01mmmicate with Louise. Copyrighted Material today while we were playing cards, your mother became so upset that she threw all the cards to the floor and said, 'I am not going to play this damn game again.'" The other ladies she was playing with tried to change the...