Amy Signs: A Mother, Her Daughter, and their Stories

13. The Scarlet Letter

79 13 The Scarlet Letter Rebecca Several weeks after J.W.’s funeral, Amy had her appointment with Dr. Shin. After a comprehensive ear examination, he tells me what I already know. “Physically Amy’s inner and outer ears are fine, but she doesn’t hear. She has a lot of wax in her ears, which can reduce a person’s ability to hear substantially. I’ll wash out her ears, but this won’t restore her hearing.” “I know. She’s deaf.” I reply. “I’m here because my mother-in-law thought we needed to get a second, or in this case, a third opinion.” Dr. Shin prepares a bowl of warm water and plunges a bulb syringe , which reminds me of a turkey baster, into the solution. He gently squeezes the water into Amy’s ear and clumps of horrible looking gunk washes out. “Yuck,” says John. “Yuck is right. Where did all that stuff come from?” I ask. “Everyone has wax in their ears.”Dr. Shin continues rinsing Amy’s ear.“Her ear molds pack the wax against the eardrum where it dries, making it difficult to remove.” “How can I get it out?” “You can’t. Don’t use cotton swabs. They pack the wax tighter against the eardrum and embed cotton fibers in the wax. She’ll need her ears washed periodically by a doctor.” Amy Signs Main Pgs 1-320.indd 79 6/27/2012 10:37:42 AM 80 Amy Signs I agree to have Dr. Proffitt wash Amy’s ears every few months, and we return home. That evening I telephone Esther with the result of our visit to Dr. Shin. “I suppose he knows what he’s talking about,” Esther says. I know she’s unconvinced, but I’m not dragging Amy to another doctor to pacify her. ) Since J.W.’s death, Jack works longer hours at the grocery store. I see less of him as he now closes the store most evenings. In addition, I must now squeeze mowing the lawn, the only chore he did at home, into my schedule. While mowing last week, I remembered the day I brought Amy home from the hospital.When Jack arrived to take me home, I sobbed,“There’s no way on God’s green earth I can raise two children. You can take me home or Amy home, but I’m not going if she does. I can’t handle two children under the age of two. I never should have had a second child.” Jack replied it was a little late for this discussion now. You underestimated yourself, Rebecca. You’re doing more than you ever imagined possible. But secretly, I’m afraid my ability to cope will soon reach the breaking point. Sleepless nights and stomach problems remain my constant companions .To avoid flopping like a frustrated fish in bed, which disturbs Jack, I retreat to the living room and read.Tonight it’s a new mystery from the library by Mary Higgins Clark. I read deep into the night before falling asleep. Five hours later I jerk awake. 8:15 a.m. Ye gods, we have to be at Connell in less than two hours. “Jack!” No answer. I’m amazed that I slept through his noisy morning routine. I follow the muffled sounds of Captain Kangaroo to the family room and find John and Amy perched side by side on the couch eating handfuls of Cheerios from a box. “How about some milk with your cereal?” I ask. “Sure,” John replies. “I’ll get it, and then you two need to hurry and get dressed. Amy has school today.” Even though only John can hear my verbal commands, I always Amy Signs Main Pgs 1-320.indd 80 6/27/2012 10:37:42 AM The Scarlet Letter 81 include Amy in any orders I give, so John will not feel Amy does not need to obey what I say. ) John and Amy’s personalities are as different as night and day. John is easygoing, a cheerful Mother’s helper who is quick to obey. Amy is strong-willed and defiant. John’s extensive vocabulary is in stark contrast to Amy’s lack of speech. Amy’s first word was a sixmonth uphill struggle. Now, after nine months of tireless work by Charmaine and me, Amy speaks two words, but I’m certain...