"God Is a Rusyn": Anthology of Contemporary Carpatho-Rusyn Literature

Tamara Kercha

Tamara Kercha TAMARA KERCHA was born in 1944 in a Rusyn village near Mukachevo to a literary family. Her father was the poet Ivan Kercha (1914–51) and her brother is lexicographer Igor´ Kercha. She graduated from the biology faculty of Uzhhorod University in 1967 and worked as a teacher. Her humorous writings and caricatures, with her own illustrations, have been published in Leningrad, Kiev, and Uzhhorod. Her first book of humorous miniatures and songs, Potatoes with Pepper (Bobal´kŷ yz poprёm), appeared in 1997. In Once upon a Time (Bŷlo tsy ne bŷlo), she develops the genre of the folk tale with a Rusyn coloration and in a Rusyn spirit. 42 UKRAINE [From Bŷlo tsy ne bŷlo] How an Orphan Became a Gentleman Once upon a time, under Franz Joseph,27 people ate all they wanted, drank wine from barrels, and rode in carriages. Everyone was a gentleman, just like us. There lived an orphan, Antonii. He was a hardy boy, like Milo of Croton,28 except that the Dear Lord did not give him good sense. He didn’t even know his own name; he called himself Tontii. People felt sorry for him. They gave him food to eat and rags to wear. The lone orphan lived in an ancient rickety house that was left to him by his parents. One evening a great gentleman drove up to the house in a carriage. The coachman was his servant, a deaf boy. Whether the horses were exhausted or the coachman was unfit, the coach overturned and trapped the gentleman. The gentleman yelled at full voice. The coachman bustled about, not knowing what to do. At the shout, Tontii ran up, stood by, and watched. The gentleman noticed him and said: “Help me, my dear boy. If you free me, you’ll get a sack of ducats.” Without much effort, Tontii uprighted the coach and helped the gentleman to stand. They set off for the gentleman’s manor. But the closer they got to his home, the more the gentleman regretted that he had promised the boy so much money. After all, the poor boy would be happy with a couple of kreutzers. “Never mind,” he thought to himself. “I’ll figure it out somehow.” When they arrived, the gentleman told the servants to feed the orphan. He had the deaf servant-coachman locked in the cellar and ordered that he be whipped twenty-five lashes. Meanwhile, he went to the barn, filled a bag with acorns, tied it securely, and with them he paid Tontii. Tontii turned toward home. He whistled as he walked through the forest. This was a fine thank-you: never in his life had he held even a kreutzer, and here he was—a full stomach and a sack of ducats on his back! After a while he was stopped by a man who may have been a traveler or a beggar. The man started to question Tontii about where he was going and what he was carrying. The boy eagerly told him everything about the incident with the gentleman. The man only had to touch the bag and knew immedi27 Franz Joseph (1830–1916) was Emperor of Austria, King of Bohemia, and King of Hungary and Croatia from 1848 until 1916. 28 A Greek athlete who was the most renowned wrestler in antiquity. His name is proverbial for extraordinary strength. TAMARA KERCHA 43 ately that there were no ducats there, and that the gentleman had deceived the orphan. He asked Tontii why he wanted so much money. “I want to build a house like the gentleman’s and get married,” answered the boy. “Give me that bag and I will make sure that all your wishes are fulfilled,” the man proposed. Tontii gave him the bag and went home empty handed. The traveler went to the gentleman’s manor and asked to spend the night. The gentleman ordered his servants to set the dogs on the beggar. But instead of attacking the stranger, the dogs just whined and hid. The astonished gentleman asked, “Who are you?” “St. Peter,” answered the man. “Anyone can say that.” The gentleman did not believe him, although doubts assailed him. “Well then, perform some kind of miracle.” The traveler held the bag of acorns up to the gentleman. “Aha, this sack is filled with ducats, and I will turn them into acorns...