American Poetry Now: Pitt Poetry Series Anthology

Virgil Suárez

Virgil Suárez wasborninHavana,Cubain.Sincehehas livedintheUnitedStatesasanaturalizedcitizen.Suárezistheauthorof fournovels,twocollectionsof stories,twomemoirs,andeightcollections of poetry,includingmostrecently90Miles:SelectedandNew.Currentlyhe isworkingonanewnovelaboutElianGonzalez.Suárezlivesinandloves thecityof Miami,Florida,wherehesharesahomewithhiswifeandtwo daughtersinKeyBiscayne. 0 4 virgiL suárez Photo by Jason Flom In the House of White Light Whenmygrandmotherleftthehouse tolivewithmyaunts,mygrandfather, whospentsomuchtimeinthesugarcanefields ,returneddailytotheemptiness of theclapboardhousehebuilt withhisownhands,andhesatinthedark toeatbeanshecookedrightinthecan. Thereinthehalf-lighthethoughtof allhe’dlost, includingfamily,country,land;sometimes hesleptuprightonthatsamechair, onlystirredawakebytherestlessness of hishorse.Onenightduringalightning storm,mygrandfatherstrippednaked andwalkedoutintothefieldsaround thehousesaying“quemepartaunrayo,” maylightningstrikeme,andhestood withhisarmsout;thehardrainpelted hisface,andthentheboltsfell abouthim,andhedancedandcradled thesefilamentsinhisarms,butthey keptfalling,theseflashesof whitelight, andheranbackinsideandbroughtout anarmfulof largemasonjarsmygrandmother usedforpickling,andhefilledthem withfractallight.Likebabies,hecarried thejarsinsideandsetthemallaboutthehouse,  4 virgiL suárez  4 virgiL suárez andthehousefilledwiththeimmense blindinglightthatswallowedeverything, includingthememoriesof howeachnail sunkintothewood,thewaterlevelrose inthewell,thelossof thiscountry, thefamilywhorefusedtoaccepthimnow, thatinthisperpetualwaking,theworld belongedtothosewhobelievedinthepower of electricity,thosemomentszapped of anguish,isolation,thiscleanandpure actof snatchinglightningoutof heavyair, pluckinglightninglikeflowersfromahillside. Recitative after Rembrandt’s “The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp” howthewhitenessof fleshbeckonsthedoctor’seyesaverted fromtheflashof muscle,tendonlikepulleys,rubber bandsuselessnowindeath,andinthebrightestlight, thegooddoctor’shandsshine,oneholdingapairof tweezers, theotherinexplanatorygestureasif tosaylookhowthered of exposedarteries,darkenedincrimsonlight,contrasts againstcorpse-pale,momentswhencorporealsecrets stillheldthecuriosityof thosegatheredtostudyhowthebody works,functions,eveninthisfutilityof thelaid-out,another corpsedonatedbythecitymorgue,adrunkard,awaywardsoul, andIthinkof myownfather,ahard-workingman,dead of complicationsinsurgery,orrather,howabloodclotchoked hisheartintosubmission,andhiseyesclosingtotheworld, afluorescenceof whitedovesaflutterontheroof of atrain station,myfatherayoungmanof fifteenonthewaytoHavana  4 virgiL suárez andthehousefilledwiththeimmense blindinglightthatswallowedeverything, includingthememoriesof howeachnail sunkintothewood,thewaterlevelrose inthewell,thelossof thiscountry, thefamilywhorefusedtoaccepthimnow, thatinthisperpetualwaking,theworld belongedtothosewhobelievedinthepower of electricity,thosemomentszapped of anguish,isolation,thiscleanandpure actof snatchinglightningoutof heavyair, pluckinglightninglikeflowersfromahillside. Recitative after Rembrandt’s “The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp” howthewhitenessof fleshbeckonsthedoctor’seyesaverted fromtheflashof muscle,tendonlikepulleys,rubber bandsuselessnowindeath,andinthebrightestlight, thegooddoctor’shandsshine,oneholdingapairof tweezers, theotherinexplanatorygestureasif tosaylookhowthered of exposedarteries,darkenedincrimsonlight,contrasts againstcorpse-pale,momentswhencorporealsecrets stillheldthecuriosityof thosegatheredtostudyhowthebody works,functions,eveninthisfutilityof thelaid-out,another corpsedonatedbythecitymorgue,adrunkard,awaywardsoul, andIthinkof myownfather,ahard-workingman,dead of complicationsinsurgery,orrather,howabloodclotchoked hisheartintosubmission,andhiseyesclosingtotheworld, afluorescenceof whitedovesaflutterontheroof of atrain station,myfatherayoungmanof fifteenonthewaytoHavana  4 virgiL suárez toseekhisfortunes,andfiftyyearslater,inanothercountry, inthebarkof aforeigntongue,inthewhirlwindof exile, hisearssurrendertothesoundof amutedcry,hisown, andthehospital’sICUdoctorsandnursesflocktohim,hisheart willnotstartupagain,andtheypaddleitwithelectricity,paddle again,buthisheartknowsitscalling,aroyalpalmtree callsithome,wheretheriversteemwiththesilverof fish, fierybeingsunderthewater’smirror,andhewantstogohome, heyearnsforthisplaceof hisyouth,thedoctorsandnurses standdumbfoundedbecauseDr.Tulp,despitealifetime of practiceandasteadyhand,istoolate;sciencehasfailedhim, myfather,assciencefailsusall. Isla InLosAngelesIgrewupwatchingTheThreeStooges, TheLittleRascals,SpeedRacer, andtheGodzillamovies, thosemymothercalled“Losmonstruos,”andthoughIdidn’t yetspeakEnglish,Iunderstoodwhysuchacreaturewould, uponbeingwokenupfromitscenturies-longslumber,rise anddestroyTokyo’sbuildings,cars,people—Iunderstood bytheageof twelvewhatitmeanttobeunwanted,exiled, howyoumovefromonecountrytoanotherwherenobody wantsyou,nobodyknowsyou,andIsatinfrontof theTV, transfixedbythesnow-fizzonouroldblackandwhite, andwhenGodzillabellowshiseardrum-crushinggrowl, Iscreamedback,thisvictory-hollerfromonesorejected andcursedtoanother.Whenthemonsterwhippeditstail anddestroyed,Ithrewapillowacrossmyroom;eachtime  4 virgiL suárez toseekhisfortunes,andfiftyyearslater,inanothercountry, inthebarkof aforeigntongue,inthewhirlwindof exile, hisearssurrendertothesoundof amutedcry,hisown, andthehospital’sICUdoctorsandnursesflocktohim,hisheart willnotstartupagain,andtheypaddleitwithelectricity,paddle again,buthisheartknowsitscalling,aroyalpalmtree callsithome,wheretheriversteemwiththesilverof fish, fierybeingsunderthewater’smirror,andhewantstogohome, heyearnsforthisplaceof hisyouth,thedoctorsandnurses standdumbfoundedbecauseDr.Tulp,despitealifetime of practiceandasteadyhand,istoolate;sciencehasfailedhim, myfather,assciencefailsusall. Isla InLosAngelesIgrewupwatchingTheThreeStooges, TheLittleRascals,SpeedRacer, andtheGodzillamovies, thosemymothercalled“Losmonstruos,”andthoughIdidn’t yetspeakEnglish,Iunderstoodwhysuchacreaturewould, uponbeingwokenupfromitscenturies-longslumber,rise anddestroyTokyo’sbuildings,cars,people—Iunderstood bytheageof twelvewhatitmeanttobeunwanted,exiled, howyoumovefromonecountrytoanotherwherenobody wantsyou,nobodyknowsyou,andIsatinfrontof theTV, transfixedbythesnow-fizzonouroldblackandwhite, andwhenGodzillabellowshiseardrum-crushinggrowl, Iscreamedback,thisvictory-hollerfromonesorejected andcursedtoanother.Whenthemonsterwhippeditstail anddestroyed,Ithrewapillowacrossmyroom;eachtime  4 virgiL suárez mymotherstormedintotheroomandaskedmewhat, whatIthoughtIwasdoingthrowingthingsatthewalls. “¡Esemonstruo,esaisla!”she’dsay.Thatmonster,thatisland, andIknewshewasn’ttalkingaboutthemovie.Shemeant hercountry,mine,thatislandintheCaribbeanweleftbehind, itself areptile-lookingmassoneachmap,onmyglobe, acrocodile-likecreaturerisingagain,eatingussocompletely. —forJarretKeene American Drag Rhapsody: J. Edgar Hoover in Havana HealwayscametotheTropicanaNightClubinOldHavana, atouchof YvesSt.Laurentperfumebehindtheears;acontact wouldmeethimthereandthentakehimtotheunderground gaynightclubs,wherethefree-for-allmadehisheadspin, afterthemojitos,andallthebump-and-grindactionhe’dgo homewiththeblondwhocaressedhisfacewithsmoothdovefeatherhands ,tickledhimonthesoftbacksof hisknees,licked himtherewherethesultryCubanmenlikedtogive laespuela, atricktheylearnedfromtheFrench,thatmuchhewassure of—Ah,thosenightsinHavana,thoseyoungmenwhoknewhim betterthanhisownmother.Musicpulsingbehindstuccowalls, alightglintingoff achandelier...thesenightsof release fromdailytensions.Thegamesheplayed.Hisfavoritescene of anymoviewasAvaGardner’sscenewiththetwodark andhandsomeboysinNightof theIguana,shotinAcapulco. Helikedthisbite-squeezeof flesh,nodoubt.Onenight hepaintedhislipsbrightred,putonaflamencodress,sunset red,whitepolkadotsthesizeof quartersontheruffles,onyxshiny  4 virgiL suárez mymotherstormedintotheroomandaskedmewhat, whatIthoughtIwasdoingthrowingthingsatthewalls. “¡Esemonstruo,esaisla!”she’dsay.Thatmonster,thatisland, andIknewshewasn’ttalkingaboutthemovie.Shemeant hercountry,mine,thatislandintheCaribbeanweleftbehind, itself areptile-lookingmassoneachmap,onmyglobe, acrocodile-likecreaturerisingagain,eatingussocompletely. —forJarretKeene American Drag Rhapsody: J. Edgar Hoover in Havana HealwayscametotheTropicanaNightClubinOldHavana, atouchof YvesSt.Laurentperfumebehindtheears;acontact wouldmeethimthereandthentakehimtotheunderground gaynightclubs,wherethefree-for-allmadehisheadspin, afterthemojitos,andallthebump-and-grindactionhe’dgo homewiththeblondwhocaressedhisfacewithsmoothdovefeatherhands ,tickledhimonthesoftbacksof hisknees,licked himtherewherethesultryCubanmenlikedtogive laespuela, atricktheylearnedfromtheFrench,thatmuchhewassure of—Ah,thosenightsinHavana,thoseyoungmenwhoknewhim betterthanhisownmother.Musicpulsingbehindstuccowalls, alightglintingoff achandelier...thesenightsof release fromdailytensions.Thegamesheplayed.Hisfavoritescene of anymoviewasAvaGardner’sscenewiththetwodark andhandsomeboysinNightof theIguana,shotinAcapulco. Helikedthisbite-squeezeof flesh,nodoubt.Onenight hepaintedhislipsbrightred,putonaflamencodress,sunset red,whitepolkadotsthesizeof quartersontheruffles,onyxshiny  4 virgiL suárez pumps,andhedancedinfrontof mirrors;somedistantguitar weepandclatterof castanetshelpedhimkeeptherhythm.Nobody knewhimattheHavanaHilton,nothere,notthereattheclubs. Helovedthisanonymity,thisdisappearingactof vanishing beforemirrors.Silkscarvesaroundhisneck,cottonblouses rubbingagainsthisnipples.OhthosegloriousHavana morningswhenheopenedthewindowstoletsomelightsneakin: peoplebelowonthemove,thebakeryboyscomingintowork thedoughwiththeirroughfingers,pigeonsonthewires,aman onabalconywithacigaretteinhismouth,smokewisping inthewind.HolyEvanescence.Howmanymorningslikethis wouldhehaveleftintheworld?Howmanynightswouldhefeel thisraptureof passion,unbridled,free?Theyoungmanbehind himembracinghimtogreetthedaylikelovers,thewaymen haveheldeachotherintoaneternity. La Florida Lugubriousdayspasswiththeamplitudeof manatees, hibiscusunfoldtheirsmilingvortextoconfusedbees, somewherenearTurkeyPointacrocodilegrowsafoot bytheday,touristsmistakethebigonesforlogs, anhingasplayJesusontheSpanishmoss-riddledbranches of oaksandjunipers,crucifiedinthesun.FeralQuaker parrotsbuildnestshighupinthebanyantrees.Orchids, capuchinmonkeysloosedfromananimaldistributor warehouse,memoriesof thebeardedladyandthelizard man,retirednowinPalatka,holdingcourtintheshade of aparasolbytheirtrailer.Russianmidgets,rockets shotintotheeyeof themoon,thismagicof fireflies  4 virgiL suárez pumps,andhedancedinfrontof mirrors;somedistantguitar weepandclatterof castanetshelpedhimkeeptherhythm.Nobody knewhimattheHavanaHilton,nothere,notthereattheclubs. Helovedthisanonymity...