American Poetry Now: Pitt Poetry Series Anthology

Russell Edson

 4 russeLL edson Russell EdsonlivesinConnecticutwithhiswife,Frances.Hisbooks include,amongothers, Appearances;AStoneIsNobody’s;TheVeryThingThat Happens;TheBrainKitchen;WhataManCanSee;TheChildhoodof anEquestrian; TheClamTheater;Ridderenaf Gyngehesten;TheFallingSickness(fourplays);The IntuitiveJourney&OtherWorks;TheReasonWhytheCloset-ManIsNeverSad;With SincerestRegrets;Gulping’sRecital(anovel);TheWoundedBreakfast;TickTock;The Songof PercivalPeacock(anovel);TheTunnel:SelectedPoems;TheTormentedMirror; TheHouseof SaraLoo;OTúnel; andTheRooster’sWife.  4 russeLL edson The Secret Graveyard Elephantslikeburlapunderwear.Itwearsbetterthansilkandhasmore style. They’reshyaboutthisappetite.Underwearembarrassesthem. Whenthedesireovertakesthemtheyheadforthesecretgraveyardof elephants.Nooneknowswherethatis.Theyfeelsafethere. Surroundedbythebleachedbonesoftheirancestorstheyshylysubmit themselvestothedeliciousfeelofburlap.Theyfeelmorenakedwearingit. Theydon’tknowwhy,andsotheygiggle. Ofcoursetheycannotreentertheforestwearingunderwear.Ahyena mightlaugh.Tarzanisanotherthought... Sadlytheymustleavetheirunderwearinthebonesoftheirancestors. Theyremembertomurmurbriefprayersastheyleave... The Key Anoldwomanwasworkingherhusband’sbeardintohershawlwithher crochetinghook. What’shappening?saidthesleepyoldmanblinkingawake,hisbeard tangledintheoldwoman’sshawl. IthinkI’vefoundthekeytotheuniverse,saidtheoldwomanshowing theoldmanhercrochetinghook.Lookhowitunlocksyourbeardandmy shawlandrelocksthemasone.Why,youhardlytellwheretheoneendsand theotherbegins. Butwhyismysecondarysexualcharacteristicbecomingpartsecondary sexualcharacteristicandpartshawl,evenasashawlbecomespartshawland partsecondarysexualcharacteristic? Because,whilethekeyopenssomething,itmustnecessarilyclose somethingelse...  4 russeLL edson Baby Pianos Apianohadmadeahugemanure.Itshandlerhopedtheladyofthe housewouldn’tnotice. Buttheladyofthehousesaid,whatisthathugedarkness? Thepianojusthadababy,saidthehandler. ButIdon’tseeanykeys,saidtheladyofthehouse. Theycomelater,likebabyteeth,saidthehandler. Meanwhilethepianohaddroppedanotherhugemanure. What’sthat,criedtheladyofthehouse,surelynotanotherbaby? Twins,saidthehandler. Theylookmorelikecannonballsthanbabypianos,saidtheladyofthe house. Thepianodroppedanotherhugemanure. Triplets,smiledthehandler... The Alfresco Moment Abutlerasks,willMadambehavinghermorningcoffeealfresco? IfyouwouldbesokindastoliftmeoutofmybedtotheverandaI wouldbemorethanwillingtoimbibecoffeealfresco. ShallIasktheMastertojointheMadamforcoffeealfresco? Butmynightgown’ssosheerhemightseemypubicdeltaalfresco.And beingawomanofwealthIhavetheloinsofagoddess.Whileyou,beingbuta lowlyservant,havetheloinsofachild’steddybear.Yes,havetheMasterjoin thealfrescomoment.Hemightjustaswellbeinformedofmypubicdelta, it’snotastatesecret.Besides,hecarriesanorganworthyofabull.Whileyou, beingbutalowlyservant,havetheloinsofacaterpillar. Verygood,Madam... The Message TheCaptainbecomesmoodyatsea.He’safraidofwater;suchbully amountsthatprovetheseas... Aglassofwaterisonething.Amaneasilydownsit,capturingitsmenace inhisbladderandpissingitaway. 0 4 russeLL edson Afewdropsofraindolittleharm,savetoremindhowgrieflooksupon thecheek. Onedaythewateriswillingtobearyouandyourshipuponitsbacklike aliquidelephant.Thenextdaytheelephanthasnomorewillingnesstohave youonitsback. Atseathisisasadmessage. TheCaptainsitsinhiscabinwearingaparachute,listeningtowhatthe seamightsay... The Square Wheel Amadscientisthasclonedhimself.Itwasanaccident.Hehadbeen tryingtoinventasquarewheel,whenallofasuddentherewasanothermad scientisttryingtoinventasquarewheel. Theory:Ifthecirclecanbesquared,whynotthewheel? Meanwhile,thefirstmadscientistisbeginningtofeelredundant.He mayhavetosharehiswife.OrevenaNobelPrize.Or,cometothinkofit,his toothbrush! But,asitisalwaysgettingtobetoolate,theclonetryingtoinventa squarewheelhasalreadyclonedanothermadscientisttryingtoinventa squarewheel,whohasaccidentallyclonedanothermadscientistmadly seekingthesquarewheel... Angels Theyhavelittleuse.Theyarebestasobjectsoftorment. Nogovernmentcareswhatyoudowiththem. Likebirds,andyetsohuman... Theymatebybrieflylookingattheother. Theireggsarelikewhitejellybeans. Sometimestheyhavebeensaidtoinspireamantodomorewithhislife thanhemighthave. 0 4 russeLL edson Afewdropsofraindolittleharm,savetoremindhowgrieflooksupon thecheek. Onedaythewateriswillingtobearyouandyourshipuponitsbacklike aliquidelephant.Thenextdaytheelephanthasnomorewillingnesstohave youonitsback. Atseathisisasadmessage. TheCaptainsitsinhiscabinwearingaparachute,listeningtowhatthe seamightsay... The Square Wheel Amadscientisthasclonedhimself.Itwasanaccident.Hehadbeen tryingtoinventasquarewheel,whenallofasuddentherewasanothermad scientisttryingtoinventasquarewheel. Theory:Ifthecirclecanbesquared,whynotthewheel? Meanwhile,thefirstmadscientistisbeginningtofeelredundant.He mayhavetosharehiswife.OrevenaNobelPrize.Or,cometothinkofit,his toothbrush! But,asitisalwaysgettingtobetoolate,theclonetryingtoinventa squarewheelhasalreadyclonedanothermadscientisttryingtoinventa squarewheel,whohasaccidentallyclonedanothermadscientistmadly seekingthesquarewheel... Angels Theyhavelittleuse.Theyarebestasobjectsoftorment. Nogovernmentcareswhatyoudowiththem. Likebirds,andyetsohuman... Theymatebybrieflylookingattheother. Theireggsarelikewhitejellybeans. Sometimestheyhavebeensaidtoinspireamantodomorewithhislife thanhemighthave.  4 russeLL edson Butwhatisthereforamantodowithhislife? ...Theyburnbeautifullywithablueflame. Whentheycryoutitislikethescreechofatinyhinge;thecryofabat. Noonehearsit... The Bath Amanwastakingabathinatubofturkeygravy;floatingarubberduck towhileawayeternity.Eatingmashedpotatoes,dippingforkfulsinhis bath... Itwasgorgeous,thewholething,hethought,meinsoakwithaduck, havingmashedpotatoesandgravy,whileoutthereawholecrazyworld... Thus Spake Polly AmanhadaparrotnamedPollywhowasalwayssaying,Pollywantsa cracker. Themanaskedherwhyshewasalwaysreferringtoherselfinthethird person. Pollysaid,wearenotamused. Andnowwhytheroyalwe? Becauseyouhadacommonancestorwithmodernapes.Sobreakoutthe crackerswithyouropposablethumbs.Anddon’tforgettheBriecheese,we arestillnotamused... Wings Inthewingofsomeoldhouse,mountedunderglass,acollectionof wings... Thewingofabutterflydecoratedwithafalseeyethatoccasionally blinks. Athimbleactingtheurnthatholdstheashesofamoth’s. Oneofscrotumandfingerbonesthathadgraspedthenightlikea terriblehand,darkasthenightitgrasped.  4 russeLL edson Butwhatisthereforamantodowithhislife? ...Theyburnbeautifullywithablueflame. Whentheycryoutitislikethescreechofatinyhinge;thecryofabat. Noonehearsit... The Bath Amanwastakingabathinatubofturkeygravy;floatingarubberduck towhileawayeternity.Eatingmashedpotatoes,dippingforkfulsinhis bath... Itwasgorgeous,thewholething,hethought,meinsoakwithaduck, havingmashedpotatoesandgravy,whileoutthereawholecrazyworld... Thus Spake Polly AmanhadaparrotnamedPollywhowasalwayssaying,Pollywantsa cracker. Themanaskedherwhyshewasalwaysreferringtoherselfinthethird person. Pollysaid,wearenotamused. Andnowwhytheroyalwe? Becauseyouhadacommonancestorwithmodernapes.Sobreakoutthe crackerswithyouropposablethumbs.Anddon’tforgettheBriecheese,we arestillnotamused... Wings Inthewingofsomeoldhouse,mountedunderglass,acollectionof wings... Thewingofabutterflydecoratedwithafalseeyethatoccasionally blinks. Athimbleactingtheurnthatholdstheashesofamoth’s. Oneofscrotumandfingerbonesthathadgraspedthenightlikea terriblehand,darkasthenightitgrasped.  4 russeLL edson Thewingofawhitecrow. Amosquito’sveinedwithhumanblood. Awingletstillunegged,featherless,mountedonashardofshell. Theinvisibleonelikesomethinginapawnshopwaitingtoberedeemed byanangel. Thewingofsomefamousnosemountedonatoothpicklikeanhors d’oeuvre,stillflaredwithitslastcontemptuousbreath... Wingsthathadmanagedtheairinsuchawayastobefreeoftheearth, gliding,fluttering.Sometimessoaringsohighthattheearthseemedhardly thereatall... ...