The Adventures of Roderick Random

Chapter L: I long to be revenged on Melinda——apply to Banter for his assistance—— he contrives a scheme for that purpose, which is put in execution with great success——I make an attempt on the heart of Miss Gripewell, but am disappointed——grow melancholy

260 The Adventures of Roderick Random chapter l. I long to be revenged on Melinda——apply to Banter for his assistance—— he contrives a scheme for that purpose, which is put in execution with great success——I make an attempt on the heart of Miss Gripewell, but am disappointed——grow melancholy at my disappointment, and have recourse to the bottle——receive a billet-doux——am ravished with the contents——find myself involved in an intrigue, which I imagined would make my fortune——am confounded at my mistake, which banishes all thoughts of matrimony. In the mean time, my attention was wholly engrossed in search of another mistress, and the desire of being revenged on Melinda, in both which schemes I was very much assisted by Billy Chatter, who was such a necessary creature among the ladies, that in all private dances he engaged the men.—To him therefore I applied, desiring he would introduce me to a partner of some figure, at the next private assembly, for the sake of a frolic, the intention of which I would afterwards communicate. Billy, who had heard something of a difference between Melinda and me, immediately smoaked1 part of my design, and thinking I only wanted to alarm her jealousy a little, promised to gratify my desire, by matching me with a partner worth thirty thousand pounds, whom the ladies of this end of the town had lately taken into their management and protection.—Upon further enquiry, I found this person’s name was Miss Biddy Gripewell ;2 that her father, who had been a pawn-broker, died intestate, by which means all his substance descended to this daughter, who was so little a favourite, that could the old man have prevailed with his own rapacious disposition, to part with as much money as would have paid the expence of a will, she would not have inherited the sixth part of his fortune;—That during his life, far from being educated in a way suitable to such great expectations,3 she was obliged to live like a servant wench, and do the most menial offices in the family.—But his funeral was no sooner performed, than she assumed the fine lady, and found so many people of both sexes to flatter, caress and instruct her, that, for want of discretion and experience, she was grown insufferably vain and arrogant, and pretended to no less than a duke or earl at least, for her husband;— that she had the misfortune to be neglected by the English quality, but a certain poor Scottish lord was then making interest to be introduced to her acquaintance.—In the mean time, she was fallen into the hands of a notable lady, who had already disposed of her to a lieutenant of foot, a distant relation of her ladyship’s, though Miss, as yet, knew nothing of the affair; and lastly, that if I proposed to dance with her, I must give him leave to represent me as a knight or foreign count4 at least.—I was ravished at this Volume Two, Chapter L 261 piece of information, and consented, for one night, to personate a French marquis, that I might the easier fulfil my revenge. Having made the appointment with Chatter, I went to Banter’s lodgings, as I had by this time conceived a great opinion of his penetration and knowledge; and after I had injoined secrecy, told him every circumstance of my disgrace with Melinda, and imparted the plan I had projected to mortify that proud coquette, desiring his advice in improving, and assistance in executing, the scheme.—Nothing could be more agreeable to his misanthropical temper, than an account of her behaviour and my resentment : He applauded my resolution, and proposed that I should not only provide myself with a proper partner, but also procure such an one for Miss Goosetrap, as should infallibly entail upon her the ridicule of all her acquaintance: For this purpose he mentioned his barber, who, he said, was an exceeding coxcomb lately come from Paris, whose absurd affectation and grimace5 would easily pass upon her, for the sprightly politesse of a gentleman improved by travel.—I hugged him for this hint; and he assured me, it would be no difficult matter to make him believe, that Melinda having seen him by accident, was captivated by his appearance, and longed for his acquaintance.——He actually engaged him on this pretence, and painted his good fortune in such...