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p August ninth, my fourteenth birthday, we sat in the hot shade, and the preacher said a fewwords about a man he didn't know. Cars sped by on the highway. A driver leaned on his horn in front of the graveyard. And far into that night—my eyes wide in the dark, my lips moving on their own—I sawthe world go on. I sawa knife lie down and become a road. I saw a baby with a face as blank as the head of a match. I saw a bird dive straight down into deep water without a splash, its feathers stripped away so it became a fish—many rainbows in its new skin, a new heaven in its eyes now. I saw a skeleton of words, a man of bone, paper stuffed between his jaws. I sawhim shuffle and laugh, and grab his black coat, and go. My father wasout there under the ground. I couldn't breathe. I sat up in bed, sucking at the air, ran to the kitchen and bent over the sink and gulped water and stayed there with my head down, dizzy and feverish and then amazed at the bright water swirling into the drain, flashing and breaking beneath my face. I raised up and looked around me at the empty room. The door to the back porch wasopen, and I stepped over to close it, and I sawsomething move. 168 9 August ninth, my fourteenth birthday, we sat in the hot shade, and the preacher said a fevywords about a man he didn't know. Cars sped by on the highway. A driver leaned on his horn in front ofthe graveyard. And far into that night- my eyes wide in the dark, my lips moving on their own- I saw the world go on. I saw a knife lie down and become a road. I saw a baby with a face as blank as the head ofa match. I saw a bird/dive straight down into deep water without a splash, its feathers stripped away so it became a fish - many rainbows in its new skin, a new heaven in its eyes now. I saw a skeleton ofwords, a man of bone, paper stuffed between his jaws. I saw him shuffle and laugh, and grab his black coat, and go. My father was out there under the ground. I couldn't breathe. I sat up in bed, sucking at the air, ran to the kitchen and bent over the sink and gulped water and stayed there with my head down, dizzy and feverish and then amazed at the bright water swirling into the drain, flashing and breaking beneath my face. I raised up and looked around me at the empty room. The door to the back porch was open, and I stepped over to close it, and I saw something move. I68 My mother said, "I'm here, Lewis." I went out and sat beside her on the love seat, a ruined thing they had dragged onto the porch years ago. I heard a truck struggle and groan far out on the highway, heard the noise fade and the breeze rise, a rasping in the pines, and I could smell the rain coming on, a hint of metal in the air, and my mother laid her head on my shoulder. I loved her so much then. And down the road, a dog began to bark, and a sadness came into his throat, as though he had caught it on the breeze—a whiff of his own life and how far beyond him it was, and would always be. 169 My mother said, ''I'm here, Lewis." I went out and sat beside her on the love seat, a ruined thing they had dragged onto the porch years ago. I heard a truck struggle and groan far out on the highway, heard the noise fade and the breeze rise, a rasping in the pines, and I could smell the rain coming on, a hint ofmetal in the air, and my mother laid her head on my shoulder. I loved her so much then. And down the road, a dog began to bark, and a sadness came into his throat, as though he had caught it on the breeze-a whiffofhis own life and how far beyond him it was, and would always be. ...
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