1830
1830 I cannot conquer, by reason the solitariness that settles over me, now & then. By a strange perverseness, I incline to cling to the good I lost, rather than gratefully enjoy that which is left. Friday Jan[uary] 1830 For the last four months, time has flown by almost unheeded . The addition to my family and my cares, has been also one to my pleasures; and in the midst of fear and apprehension, I raise my heart in thank-fulness to God, for his last gift—my little darling, blue- eyed Mary Rees, who was born on the 23d of Sep tem ber 1829. There was never a more promising child; and she is indeed the joy of us all. The talisman of maternal love, turns her simplest action, into something extraordinary, and there is not a beam of her laughing eye, which does not tell excellence and humor, to appear in perfection in a few years. I have very lately returned from Tuskaloosa, with my whole family, making a pleasant visit, of some thing like seven weeks. We staid with Billups & Nancy, and I left them with all my favorable impressions of their character, raised and confirmed . Their domestic happiness seems complete, and Nancy is an example to her married friends. Their little Ann, now nearly six months old, is a sweet babe, very like both of them. Swep has another son, but I do not hear from her often. Matt and Amaranth were up a few weeks, so were Jefferson Van Dyke & his young wife. The Legislature had not adjourned, and Mr. Gayle, as Speaker, could not leave. I feel some uneasiness at his getting into difficulties with Mr. [Joseph] Bates, a mem ber from Mobile, and Dr. Hearn [Dr. Thomas Fearn of Huntsville], a man of good standing. The first was beneath notice, but the other was more serious. I hope it is over, tho’ Levein says Mr. Gayle challenged the gentleman. I turn cold to think of that. 1830 119 Levein has rented a house joining us, and I look to a great deal of satisfaction with Ann as a neighbor. Dolly West is living with me, & intends to make my house her home. Sunday [1830] I expect Mr. Gayle today, when I hope to hear the true statement of this unpleasant affair in Tuskaloosa. Jeff Van Dyke bore the challenge, I beleive, & took a most decided and animated part in Mr. Gayle’s favor. But I cannot feel reconciled to the step. There is some thing wrong, as well as horrible in it. Poor Ross’ fate was to be deplored, but the author of it was far less to blame, than he who deliberates for days, and then stands up before a “brother man,” to take his life. Mr. Erwin kill’d Mr. Ross, the day my Mary was born. Without an instants preparation he stood before his maker to answer for the “deeds done in the body.” He left home in perfect health on one day, and was a corpse the next, and such a corpse—black, and so disfig ured, that his hair was all which could have been recognized. His wife was in a state little better than distraction, and her situation which endangered her life. She has since had a little daughter. Monday 25 Janu ary 1830 Major [John B.] Hogan, Saml. Pickens, and Robt. Chapman took coffee with us & remained ’till eleven. The Major boasts of Mobile, its style, manners and hospitality. Mr. Pickens laughed at its aping the larger cities , and I disclaimed all charity for cards, with no call, and bows, without the warm south ern custom of shaking hands. Mr. James has sent again, to get advice from Mr. Gayle in a law matter; and Maria adds that she is miserable, and all her dependance is on him. Dolly appears to feel uneasy, and I doubt if she does not return to Maria. I like her for her fidelity in her attachment, and sincerely wish some one loved me as well. Mr. Gayle’s course in this late affair, has been entirely to his honor, as it has ever been in all others. Levein and Ann have just gone over to their house. I have a great deal of pleasure in Ann’s society. 1 Feby. 1830* Another sabbath day is passing away, to be numbered with those “beyond the flood”—how idly passing! If indeed it be true, as it must be, that of every mis- spent moment we...
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