I Don't Cry, But I Remember: A Mexican Immigrant's Story of Endurance

Chapter 4. A New Country but No New Refuge, 1940s and Early 1950s

84 4 A New Country but No New Refuge 1940s and Early 1950s All my life, I’ve seen men treat women with violence, sometimes with hits and sometimes by hurting their feelings. —María Elena Lucas1 once the family became familiar with the migrant cycles and began to follow the harvest from Texas to Colorado and back, they sent for the four younger children who had remained in Mexico. Viviana then had three more children and more than one miscarriage , giving her twelve children in all, eleven living with her and Jorge. Her memories of those early years in the United States revolve around the challenges of raising her children and dealing with her difficult husband. Facing inadequacy in everything from food to medical care was burden enough, but even more troubling for Viviana were Jorge’s reactions to the children’s mischief. In our conversations , she returned repeatedly to the topic of Jorge’s neglect and abuse, his maltreatment having left deep psychological scars on her and the children. A study of Mexican American migrant families in the 1940s found that men’s authority was reinforced because of their function as providers , their control over economic assets, and their ability to mediate A New Country: 1940s and Early 1950s 85 with the Anglo world.2 From the beginning of their marriage, Jorge had worked to keep his wife secluded, and once they were no longer working with Jorge’s relatives, the migrant life only intensified her isolation. Karen Anderson points out that for married migrant women, “especially those in the rural economy, their insecurity and marital dependence had been increased” by coming north.3 Even as the family established a way of life in the United States, Viviana’s options narrowed. Although she admired some of her husband’s capabilities, Viviana never tried to excuse his violent temper. Much has been written about the cult of masculinity, and it is tempting to speculate that Jorge was acting out what he saw as acceptable masculine behavior. Although the term machismo calls up a broad range of stereotypes, De Mente’s definition would seem to fit Jorge: “Machismo meant that a man could not let anything detract from his image of himself as a man’s man, regardless of the suffering it brought on himself and the [family] around him.”4 For many Mexican men, the public posturing of male dominance served to reinforce masculine identity and self-esteem, contributing to a sense of power.5 Whatever Jorge’s selfimage may have been or how he justified his actions, they had devastating results for his wife and children and possibly for himself as well. Saldívar describes the subjugation of women by men as catastrophic for both.6 Jorge’s quick temper combined with the inability to admit a mistake could have led to a revolving door of anger and frustration on his part. From Viviana’s and her children’s accounts, Jorge spent almost all of his free time in bars, but he didn’t need to be intoxicated to lose his temper. Neither was his abuse all physical. Viviana lived with intimidation and fear, not only of beatings but also of threats on her life. She had to defend her innocence as well as the children against unreasoning jealousy and anger. The husband who had taught himself to read also disparaged his wife’s intelligence, reinforcing her own preconceived notion that she was incapable of learning. She saw herself as powerless in some respects, but her tenacity in putting her children first and standing up to Jorge when she could reveals a woman of purpose. Still bearing children, each one to her mind a blessing, she might have found those early years in the new country unbearable had it not been for her strong sense of responsibility to family. 86 chapter four My three youngest kids were born on the farms here in the United States. Isabel was born on a farm outside of Fort Lupton , [Colorado]. Diego was born on a ranch near Santana,Texas, and Constanza was also born in Colorado on a farm—outside of Pierce. But they are registered here in Greeley. Even though they were born on the farm, we registered them in town. Here there were women like doctors, and they had the responsibility for the woman who was going to have her baby. They call them parteras. There are...