My Bird

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14 6 Amir is in love with Canada. Everybody knows about his passion. Anybody who hears something new about life in Canada passes the news on to him. Sometimes he talks about Canada, as if he has lived there for years. He sighs and says, “I’ll go to Canada and be rid of this place.” When he hits a dead end, he says, “Canada is totally free from bad luck and problems.” Years ago, Amir was able to go from Baku to Turkey and from there to the Greek border. He has talked about that foolish risk he took at least a thousand times. He got off at a train station to get a cup of tea, only a cup of tea. But before taking a sip, he experienced one of the most important moments of his life; he felt the humid air, the store window full of colorful drinks, the green bench where he was sitting, and then a heavy hand landed on his shoulder, and the harsh voice of a Turkish policeman asked for his passport. Years had to pass for the barbwire at the Turkish-Greek border to prick him but not hurt. “Oh, I would die for those barbwires now. If I get there ever again, I would be gone forever. I wouldn’t even look back.” Shahin sighs like Amir, looking at the ceiling and gesturing like him! “I wouldn’t look back either, if I went.” We both look at him. M Y B I R D | 15 “Because I don’t have anything here, no bicycle, no skates, no computer, no nothing!” Amir says, “A bicycle is not what you need. You should study; education is what you need to make a living these days. You need a skill.” Shahin wants to have a bicycle. “I don’t want you to run around in the streets. I want you to grow up.” Shahin says, “I don’t want to grow up. I want a bicycle.” “You need to get a job and buy the bicycle with your own money.” Shahin does not want to work. He wants to ride a bicycle. These kinds of things make Amir angry. He raises his hand as if he is going to slap Shahin hard. But all three of us know that his hand will not touch Shahin. Last week when Amir’s hand did come down, without trying to run away, Shahin said, “When we move to Canada, you cannot hit me. I will call the police.” Shahin does not run away. He slowly gets up and goes to the backyard. Amir starts ranting and raving, and to make up for not hitting him, he runs after Shahin. Suddenly, it starts raining. Shadi and I follow Amir. Big drops of rain beat on the aluminum awning rhythmically. The single beats of the drum get louder. I tell Shahin and Shadi to go in and do their homework. They both disappear. Amir moves away from the awning and stands in the rain. The uproar created by the rain and the drum fills the backyard. 16 | Fariba Vafi I go inside to the kitchen and say, “Come in.” He doesn’t see me. He doesn’t hear me. He squats out there, clasping his hands behind his head. The cement wall behind him is covered with rain spots. “Get up and come inside.” Where is Amir? Maybe back to the barbwire or somewhere on the other side of the world. Don’t know. He is no longer in this house. He is gone. ...