Bomber Pilot: A Memoir of World War II

7 Something to Believe In

7 Something to Believe In When I got back to the base I took an early opportunity to go to General Ted with something that had been on my mind ever since June 13, 1943, over a year before, on the day I landed in Prestwick, Scotland. When I went to the wing to be operations officer, Colonel Arnold had indicated I had reason to hope that I might stay in England only about three months after the completion of my tour. The concept of a combat tour seemed to be peculiar to the Air Corps, and I was aware of the fairness of complaints from the ground forces that there was no combat tour for them. But only a very small number of the combat people of myoid group lived to the end of such a tour. When I sought to go home it was not with the firm conviction that I had fought as much of the war as anyone else. It was simply that apparently there was an avenue open, and I was less of a soldier than 1 was a husband and a father. Anne knew of a few combat airmen who had gone home immediately after completing their last mission. She had heard from their wives, and she naturally wondered why I couldn't come home. Though I was told that there were great opportunities to be Something to Believe In 221 had by those who stayed on overseas, I didn't want another promotion : I felt it an act of generosity that I had received the last one. I wanted to do a good job wherever the Army assigned me, but now more than anything else in the world I wanted to see my wife and child. The job I had I knew could be filled as satisfactorily by anyone of a dozen possible candidates within the command. The general was generous enough to offer me an opportunity to stay with him. He also said that if I wished, there was a chance I might be returned to the States. About that time Colonel Larry Thomas left the wing to take command of one of the groups and the general brought Lieutenant Colonel Jimmy Stewart up to the wing as his chief of staff. The fellows in the wing were delighted to get Stewart, though of course they all missed Larry. We all had seen enough of Jim to know that he was the kind of person who would quietly and efficiently do a good job. A few days after these changes General Ted told me he had asked for orders returning me to the States. After that I worked under great difficulty. Anyone does who looks forward to something not connected with his current assignment. For many days after my conference with General Ted there was no definite news. I never failed to seek information. One time when I had asked the same question a number of times in a row he turned to me and said quietly, "Phil, you have many qualities." And then he shouted, "One of which is not patience!" From that time on I approached the subject indirectly. Before much time had passed I was presented with orders -the most precious I had ever seen-directing me to London for the purpose of returning to the "Zone of Interior." Several days later I said goodbye to my friends at the base. Though I am poor at goodbyes, that one seemed particularly hard in spite of my longing to be off. Entering London as on my last trip, I experienced an alert. I heard an explosion some distance ahead and a few minutes later came upon an apartment building cut in half. From where it stood and to the end of the block every other building was de- 222 Something to Believe In molished. I looked up to a third-story Hat cut right through the middle. There hanging over the distance of three Hoors to the rubble below was a closet whose door stood open, showing some small dresses hanging inside. My driver stopped without any word from me, and together we gaped at the scene. Rescue workers were digging in the ruins. An old English gentleman was walking up and down the sidewalk. His hands were placidly folded behind his back and his face was a picture of grief. I didn't realize how we, two...