Tales from Kentucky Lawyers

13. Mentally Disabled

13 MENTALLY DISABLED In the words of Beattyville judge Edward Jackson, "Mentally retarded persons fall into two categories. One category consists of those that have always been mentally retarded, and, two, those who get retarded when they get a little old. When these matters come to court, they get a twelve-person jury and usually they are uncontested. The jury decides whether they are mentally retarded or incompetent, then the court appoints someone to handle their affairs." Although humor is not intended, some of the stories in this category conclude with what rings forth as humorous commentary and actions, primarily on the part of the chief actor, who is the mentally disabled person. 178. "THE FELLOW WHO WOULDN'T WORK" I was county attorney here in Knott County at the time this happened back in the 1980s. Back then, if a person had mental problems, they would get mental wards for them. It wasn't much of getting petitions, such as they do today, to send them to the hospital. They would actually put them in jail back then and hold them a little while. But you had to give them a hearing back then within seventy-two hours. And another thing they came up with was that you had to have an attorneyhad to be represented. And if they weren't represented by an attorney of their choice, then the court would appoint an attorney for them. So they had this old fellow out there in court, trying him on mental weakness. So, the commonwealth put its side on, as to his condition. MENTALLY DISABLED 145 Finally, his lawyer called this mentally retarded fellow to the stand. About the first question that the lawyer asked him was, "What do you do for a living?" The client said, "Nothing." The lawyer said, "Don't you work?" This fellow said, "Why, no, 1 don't work." Said, "I draw a check. Do you think I'm crazy? Certainly, 1 don't work." He really said that! 1 witnessed it. James Bates, Hindman, December 18, 2000 179. "THIEF REMOVES SKI MAsK FROM FACE DURING ROBBERY" I've been thinking about the dumb crooks that 1 run into when 1was a prosecutor. But the dumbest crook of all was a man whose last name was Wimpee. Well, on one cold, wintery night it was snowing. It was bitter cold. Down here on Main Street in Bowling Green, there was a liquor store called Park City Liquors. There was one man working there that night, and Mr. Wimpee went down there in the snowstorm with a gun and robbed the liquor store. He wore a ski mask. When he came in the door with his gun, he had his ski mask on, and during the robbery he took his ski mask off. He then proceeded to rob the man of the money. Of course, the man saw him and could identify him because he had his ski mask off. Then, before he left and went back out in the snow, he put his ski mask back on as he went out the door. Later on when we caught him, 1said, "You know, Wimpee, you're supposed to wear the ski mask inside when you pull a robbery." He said, "Well, it was cold that night but it was hot inside the store!" He only got a light mitigation sentence because he was so dumb. Morris Lowe, Bowling Green, March 9, 2001 180. ''JUROR UNWILLING TO PAY" When 1was a lawyer, in Covington we had a case that I'd heard about, but 1 was not in the case itself. It was a civil case involving a car wreck and one party suing the other one. And 1heard from the judge, he said, "You know, we've got a message from the jury that they want to talk to me. I'd asked them for a note, and they sent a note up that said, 'Can we excuse a juror?'" 146 Tales from Kentucky Lawyers The judge finally had a hearing in the case, and they said, "Well, there's one juror here whom we can't handle." The judge said, "What was it?" They said, "Well, when we got to the point of finding that one party owed the other who was involved in the car wreck some money, the question was raised, 'What are we going to give this man?'" This...