Sexes: The Marriage Dialogues

Post Partum

46 Post Partum “It’s something only a woman can do, and I wanted to prove I could manage on my own. That’s how I thought at the time. Harry stayed close for what the midwife called support, but in the end it’s only mother and baby, husband or no husband. Nobody chose my way but me, although my sister tried to talk me out of it. She’s at her best when she can make the worst of things by finding something to resent that lets her tell me that I’m wrong. ‘Epidural is like Novocain. When dentists drill your teeth, they numb you so you never feel the pain. Without a shot you’d be in agony. Why choose the agony, and, if you do, so what? Either way the tooth gets filled, and that’s the purpose, right? What’s true for teeth is true for babies. 47 Forget the heroics. Take the epidural.’ Maybe I should have listened, but I went with natural and practiced huffing and puffing and pushing and the rest. My labor lasted thirteen hours. Harry lasted for twelve until I told the nurse to make the poor man leave. Watching him watching me was just too much. Toward the end I felt the only way to kill the pain was if I died right there in the stirrups. They wanted to call a doctor to help, but I said no. Maybe he could have helped, but lying there wide open with only the nurses and midwife watching was one thing. Having another man around— a total stranger, really— was just one man too many. It would have made things worse to have him see me that way.” ...