Sexes: The Marriage Dialogues

The Higher Logic of Marital Discussion

24 The Higher Logic of Marital Discussion “You always think that something will go wrong.” “And sometimes,” she said, “I’m right.” “I like to think that things will go as planned.” “And sometimes you’re wrong.” With one hand on the steering wheel and one at ease he said, “But thinking in advance of all that could go wrong means never taking a risk.” She turned away to watch a fleet of seven mallards on an inlet by the road and asked him, “Why do ducks always move in formation?” “Ducks,” he shouted, “how did ducks get into this?” “You never hear my side and never change your mind, so what’s the point of arguing?” “That’s just because you know I’m right.” “Not right,” she said, “just certain.” For several miles they watched the road before them disappear and change into the road behind them. “You’re just the same with people, trusting them before you really know them.” 25 “I trust until I have a reason to distrust,” he answered. “Well, I distrust until somebody earns my trust, and that’s the way it should be.” “How can you live that way?” She focused on the road with such attention that she frowned until the frown relaxed into a knowing smile, “Sometimes you pay the price for trusting.” “When?” “Remember the time you lent two hundred dollars to Zach?” “So what?” “You knew he’d never pay you back.” “But now he stays away from me, and that’s a bonus.” She lifted her hands and let them drop on her lap, “And what about that waitress at the Howard Johnson’s half an hour ago?” “What about her?” “She was the worst waitress we ever had, and she was rude, but still you tipped her double what you normally tip.” “I wanted her to feel ashamed.” She lifted her hands and shook her head and huffed a louder than normal huff. 26 “Did you have to huff?” She smoothed the wrinkles from her dress and turned and stabbed him with a stare, “I didn’t have to—I wanted to.” ...