See You in the Dark: Poems

So You Want to Be a Druid

34 SO YOU WANT TO BE A DRUID In ancient times, to be a proper Druid, the rigorous initiation rite required the applicant to lie all night in a narrow coffin, drenched in fluid— an inch or two of water, more or less— and while he soaks from toe to nose he must with all due haste compose a poem of distinction and finesse, on a topic preassigned, plus—as if that task alone were not sufficient— he must, although his talent be deficient and however much he might be disinclined, devise a fitting music, stately measures, then prepare for a rendition— if he hasn’t yet expired from attrition— for the senior Druids’ morning listening pleasures. You poets who bemoan your lack of standing, and covet glory and high reputations, give thanks you’re spared the Druids’ tribulations: to be ignored is tough, but less demanding. ...