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Epilogue JusticeandLaVidaJew . . . in Technicolor Queer The pounding of the jackhammer next door has continued on and off for years now. The solidity of New York bedrock and the tenacity of local organizers has drawn out the process of clearing away that sweet patch of wooded hill on the lot adjacent to our apartment. Today, I notice the workmen measuring, prepping a preliminary layout for a foundation. I’m coming to think that being flamboyant is possibly a usual experience for many families. Being with kids, their fabulous selves and their crazy energy, just makes one so noticeable. More, Paris and Toni, each in her own way, loves being a diva. The drama queen persona appears to come easily to them as well. My daughters are growing, thank goodness. It’s getting harder to picture that toddler incarnation of Paris looking in the mirror. She’s become a fast runner, a graceful dancer, and a caring friend. Toni is now old enough that she argues with the ferocity of an old Jewish Marxist, though she’s still young enough that we often can’t decipher what she’s saying exactly. She’s got the body language and attitude down. We hope that one day such aggressive intensity is backed with love and pursues justice. Each day is a gift. However cranky the kids may get, however exhausted Dawn and I may be as workers and parents, weary as citizens and strung out as partners, it is helpful to remember that each day Paris and Toni make it through safely is a blessing. When the day ends and the children are somewhat clean under all that grime, basically fed, with some semblance of ego intact, have experienced joy, laughter, comfort, and love, it is a beautiful thing. 139 140 The Family Flamboyant The kids have completed their universal pre-K (one of the treats of living in New York City as New Hampshire does not even offer kindergarten ). The girls’ pre-K was an Amalgamated labor co-op, previously also part of the Workman’s Circle (a Jewish socialist organization). The Amalgamated Nursery School is still going strong—though it has not been a Workman’s Circle project for many years—and is part of a highly developed coop system and set of values that keep this neighborhood in tact. We finally found a decent enough public school for K-5th grades. There’s little money for supplies or programming. Phys-ed is a chaotic romp within a barricaded Bronx city block. Still, we feel lucky. In contrast to Paris’ two-year-old discovery of the self-identification “Paris is a Jewish Girl,” by now the girls realize that not everyone is Jewish. In fact, although we moved back to New York City in large part to be within a broader and more diverse Jewish community, most people the girls encounter in their daily lives are not Jewish. Living in a racially, economically , and culturally diverse neighborhood within a Christian country means that by ages three and four, we had met the Christmas challenge. In our neighborhood and with their schools and activities, the girls have met a few other Jewish children—mostly Euro-heritage but actually of all and mixed races. The majority of their daily classmates are nonwhite and non-Jewish. In their day care and public school settings, they have been the only Jew where there have been either no or a few white nonJewish children. Their schools have made attempts to celebrate Kwanza, Hanukkah, and other non-Christian holidays. But the lure of Christmas always wins out. Toni can be heard humming “Jingle Bells” to herself any time of year. When we introduced the girls to the fact that some people are Christians and that is why they celebrate Christmas, they became fairly obsessed and conducted interviews at the slightest hint of Christmas decor. A visit with Jewish friends in New Hampshire one spring, who had a decorated ball reminiscent of a Christmas ornament, produced the familiar question: “Are you Christian?” Mostly people are somewhat perplexed . The Jews don’t know where the question comes from. The Christians aren’t used to being named Christian, like whites tend not to think of themselves when “race” is discussed. Even with the Christmas challenge, we find Jewish life different here in New York in a way that works better for our family over all. Yes, it is certainly far from our perfect Jewish multiracial, queer/queer friendly, spiritually inclined...

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