The Ethics of Autism: Among Them, but Not of Them

Voices of Autism: Gunilla Gerland

Voices of Autism Gunilla Gerland’s autobiography, ARealPerson, focuses primarily on her childhood and early adulthood in Sweden. Only as an adult was she finally diagnosed with autism. Her failure to fit in as a child was chalked up to “defiance,” rather than the profound difficulties she faced. She was plagued by the realization that she was different from other children, and harbored a deep desire to be like everyone else. Her sister, Kerstin, was one of the few children with whom Gunilla could play as a young child, because Kerstin and Gunilla’s games were informed by rule, ritual, and consistency. Gunilla took everything that people said around her literally, assuming, for example, that others could see into the future when they asserted, “You’re going to like going to school.” But school was filled with scores of children with “empty faces” whom Gerland could only occasionally remember, and even more rarely, understand. Her adolescence was marred by her father’s abandonment of the family, as well as her mother’s descent into alcoholism and mental illness. Gerland describes the failure to recognize the moral import of actions and events around her. A variety of stories capture this confusion. In one, she tells of her sister’s lack of interest in playing the game “cars,” and the bribes that she had to pay Kerstin to induce her to play. Gerland paid the bribes by stealing from her mother, saying, “I didn’t mind doing that at all” (Gerland 1996, 38). In another episode, she recounts her father’s first abandonment of their family when she was four and a half. Her mother took in boarders after he left, which necessitated rearranging the rooms in the house. Gerland was unperturbed by the loss of her father, comparing his departure to a bowl of fruit that was on the table one day and gone the next. “On the other hand, it greatly disturbed me when they moved the furniture,” she writes (Gerland 1996, 42–43). School posed equal challenges to Gerland’s moral assessment of actions. She was routinely taken to the lavatories at her school and punched in the stomach by some of the boys. This went on for some time until another student disclosed this harassment to a teacher who made the boys stop. Gerland was upset that she was manipulated by the boys, and upset that the teacher put an end to the maltreatment: “It was now quite clear that I had been deceived in some way, so I felt stupid. Hadn’t I gone and found those boys myself, in case on some days they had forgotten to hit me?” (Gerland 1996, 92). Gerland continues to be confronted with similar challenges in adult life. Unlike people who are not autistic, Gerland finds that she is “. . . unable to perceive whether people wish me well or ill. I try to calculate with my intellect, and the result is not always that good” (Gerland 1996, 244). In addition to complicating her relationships with other people, autism has affected Gerland’s ability to make sense of the moral landscape. 3 Seth Chwast, Hand Holding the Pencil ...