Spirituality in a Time of Pandemic

My experience of living in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic is deeply uncomfortable. The pandemic has led me to confront profound personal challenges. In this short reflection I want to offer a few perspectives on the impact of COVID-19 on my life and spirituality—both the difficulties I continue to face and also how I am trying to find a sense of meaning and support for my spiritual life.

IMPACT OF THE PANDEMIC

I am very fortunate that, so far, I have not contracted COVID-19 although five members of my family have (all now doing well). I am also grateful that what I have in life is more secure than the situation of many other people these days. There is so much suffering—not only the COVID-19 illness but also loss of jobs and shortage of money. This suffering is heightened by the injustice shown in the differences between wealthier and less wealthy parts of my country. Also, at this time of global crisis, it is very disheartening to witness dangerous and dysfunctional politics on both sides of the Atlantic.

Speaking personally, the biggest impact on my life has been the end of normal routines, both work routines and personal or social ones. I can no longer travel to my office in Cambridge nor can I fly to San Antonio to work at Oblate School of Theology. I have had to learn to teach online and I regularly speak via Zoom with colleagues, students, and friends. Zoom is certainly useful but is in no way a substitute for face to face contact. The situation also means that I cannot currently access material in Cambridge to help my ongoing research and writing projects. More personally, my partner Susie and I cannot go for our regular weekend walks through the local park to visit our favourite café for lunch via the path along the River Thames. Nor can we visit London art museums or meet up with friends for a meal together.

Overall, my life has shrunk. I have experienced a sense both of loss and of powerlessness as well as feelings of isolation and of being imprisoned—especially during periodic national or regional lockdowns that result from new virus spikes. Because there is such uncertainty about where the world is going and about how long the pandemic will seriously impact on our lives it is easy to become anxious, fearful, or depressed.

I can also become angry when I see self-centred behaviour by people not observing pandemic rules about wearing masks or keeping social distancing. Plus, there have been examples locally of alcohol-fuelled raves in nearby parks as well as libertarian demonstrations in central London against the imposition of COVID-19 rules. In both cases the police had to intervene. On the other hand, it is deeply encouraging when Susie and I experience such kindness on the part of some neighbours on our street on the occasions when we have had to self-isolate. In short, the pandemic has brought out both the worst and the best in human behaviour.

SPIRITUAL NEEDS

What about our spiritual needs? The loss of control has highlighted how much I need a spiritual routine.

For many people, the closure of places of worship—churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples—during periodic official lockdowns has been a terrible blow. Being able to enter a familiar building to sit and reflect, or engaging with a faith community in joint worship, is central to many people's spiritual lives.

On a personal note, the COVID-19 pandemic has confronted me with a massive test of meaning, purpose, and hope. Does being a Christian make any difference to my experience of the current pandemic? Does being a "spiritual" person help me? How do I find a spiritual routine? To be honest, there have been moments of deep pain when I have asked myself bluntly: "do I have faith anymore?" This is not an easy question. My search for meaning and for hope has had to move beyond a simple belief that "In the end, it's all going to be OK...