Love, Letters, and the Institutions of Gender and Marriage in the Nineteenth Century: The Marriage of William Henry and Frances Seward

Nineteenth-century marriages shared a universal definition of marriage as a lifelong contract with clear-cut expectations of each partner divided along gender lines, even as individuals experienced marriage in their own ways. Gender determined not only the roles but also the perceptions, experiences, and behaviors of both partners in traditional nineteenth-century marriages, even when aspects of their gendered experience left them unhappy and powerless to make changes that would benefit them. Social and legal restrictions, determined by gender, left many partners little recourse when marriages did not turn out as planned. The marriage of William "Henry" Seward and Frances Adeline Miller was a very traditional nineteenth-century arrangement experienced by two people who lived under exceptional circumstances. Henry Seward's business and political engagements kept him from home and family for a large portion of their married lives, leaving Frances home to raise their family and maintain their Auburn, New York, home in his absence. When they were together, particularly in Albany or Washington, DC, their marriage and behavior faced the scrutiny of the public spotlight, and Frances was required to fill the role of political wife in addition to the usual domestic roles of a married woman.

Though strained by distance, illness, and tragedy, the Sewards maintained a decades-long love story as they struggled to remain faithful to the vows they made to one another in 1824 and fulfill their obligations as husband and wife. The William H. Seward Collection at the University of Rochester documents more than forty years of this nineteenth-century marriage. The letters provide insight into Frances Seward's evolving views on gender roles as she and her husband navigated a maelstrom of politics, activism, and reform that included the burgeoning women's rights movement, abolition, and the Civil War. In spite of their exceptional circumstances and their challenges to other institutions of the time, the Sewards' marriage was defined by the institutions of gender and marriage in the nineteenth century.

To Have and To Hold

Law professor Hendrik Hartog explained, "All participants in the antebellum Anglo-American legal culture understood what marriage was. At least until the middle years of the nineteenth century, being married meant subjecting oneself to a known and coercive public relationship."¹ For Henry and Frances Seward, marriage would be more public than for most, as Henry's political ambitions resulted in him holding numerous high-profile political offices.

Gendered roles within marriage had legal and social implications, including the expectation that the wife submit to her husband in most matters. Historian Cassandra Good explained, "A husband's control over his wife had both public and private importance, as demonstrating domestic authority served as a basis for a man's political rights," leaving less room for individual negotiations of control than twentieth-century marriages eventually would.² Frances Seward, like the majority of wives in her time, sought her husband's approval in most things, from travel and finances to her own behavior. Visiting Henry's family in Florida, New York, early in their marriage, Frances wrote to Henry, "I shall be contented here as long as you desire me to stay and will try and be everything you wish."³

The potential to impact their husband's reputation as well as their own gave women a double-edged sword to wield in their unions. Henry once explained and defended his sister-in-law Lazette Worden's potentially damaging behavior: "Lazette has been unfortunate in her attachment and has become mellowed in a temper which bears sometimes too much of independence."⁴ The Worden marriage was marred by physical abuse, financial difficulty, and an apparent lack of love that was only resolved with Alvah Worden's death in 1856. Shortly after, Lazette moved back to Auburn, writing, "I look back upon my life in Canandaigua as nineteen years of discipline which though perhaps necessary, is not pleasant to remember."⁵ Henry also noted his sister-in-law Rachel Seward's suffering from his brother Polidore's alcoholism, writing to Frances...