Une chance folle by Anne Godard (review)

Magda was severely burned when she was only a few months old. Naturally, she does not remember what happened. But her mother had carefully documented the accident in a notebook: hot water from a kettle spilled onto Magda's neck and the top of her body, resulting in an unsightly and painful scar, but sparing—by some crazy chance—her face. Her childhood was defined by multiple operations followed by dressing changes and spa treatments. She is told that she is well cared for, yet the wound never heals. Magda suffers tremendously, but supposedly not as much as her mother, who is dedicated to her. With deft prose and tenderness, Godard guides the reader to a better understanding of the multiple layers of Magda's pain. There is, of course, the physical pain, but there is also the emotional pain tied to the scar. Godard allows us to enter Magda's mindset as Magda worries about who will love her. While examining her scars in the bathroom mirror, Magda contemplates what the future holds for her and how others will perceive her: "[J]e me contorsionne pour voir l'étendue des cicatrices qui m'entourent comme un filet. Qui m'aimerait malgré elles ne m'aimerait pas vraiment, ce ne serait pas moi, pas complètement". She then provides a precise calculation: "Ce serait m'aimer à moitié, comme d'aimer seulement mes cheveux bruns or mes yeux verts, ce serait m'aimer en petits morceaux" (47). When Magda attends a soirée with a friend at the neighborhood high school, she is asked to dance by a young man with frizzy hair and who smells of alcohol and sweat. After the dance, he thanks her, and she wonders why: "[J]e me demande si c'est une politesse obligée du danseur à sa cavalière, ou si c'est pour ce que je l'ai laissé me faire sans réagir. Je ne sais pas s'il a vu ma cicatrice dépasser de mon col, ou si ses mains l'ont sentie à travers mon T-shirt" (85). More powerful still is the pain Magda knows that her mother endures and how the accident has consumed her mother's life, so much so that the family dynamic is irrevocably impacted. This is evident when Magda explains about her mother's notebook:"[C]'était d'ailleurs comme si ma mère avait été la seule à vivre ce qui s'était passé, car de mon père ni de mon frère, elle ne notait rien dans le cahier, et on aurait dit que personne jamais ne s'était enquis d'eux" (23). Striking also is Magda's concern over her brother's attitude towards her. In a scene when her father slaps her for having returned home late, she senses her brother's alienation: "[M]on frère ne dit rien non plus, [...] et c'est un peu comme si je n'existais pas. Je me demande s'il m'en veut, et si c'est seulement à cause de moi que l'air à la maison est devenu irrespirable" (108). This slim novel packs a powerful punch, leaving a lasting impression on the reader.