Small Plane Crashes on Your Couch

You don't want to be a jerk because you and small plane have been budssince the early '90s, when you met through a mutual friend and began hanging outgoing to metal shows, drinking Pearl Light on the porch and bootlegging drugsacross the border. But the times have caught up to small plane. There arehundreds of other small planes out there, thousands, nothing setting him apart,other than his problems, and those have become both the air he rides on and his fuel.It's not for you to tell him, Hey small plane, get a job, quit drinking, losesome fucking weight, but you get the feeling at any momenthe could fall apart mid-flight. So, if not your couchthen crash where? A suburban lawn? Golf course?Mother's aging mall? The Pentagon's garage? Althoughyou can't help thinking Alaska or Australiawould have to be a nice change in topography.