The Lineaments Gratified Desire

“What is it men in women do require?The lineaments of Gratified Desire.What is it women do in men require?The lineaments of Gratified Desire.”

—William Blake

1

The woman David Shumaker had thought of as his own, his darling Sonya, was in Los Angeles for a period of weeks, helping her mother through knee-replacement surgery and physical therapy. Almost 2,000 miles away. At the beginning, he had thought he might go crazy without her. In the tossing nights he suffered the fear that she would meet and fall in love with another man. He told himself it was just the distance, and his own long-standing insecurity about himself and women.

Now here he was, the one who had met someone else.

He told his father about it, because his father had introduced him to Sonya. The old man stared, frowning. “I thought you—” He stopped. “This is a joke, right?”

Sonya was the professor’s former assistant in the math department at Memphis.

“It’s no joke, Dad.”

His father was quiet for a time. Then: “What’s the deal here, son?”

“I guess I should call and tell her.”

“You’re really serious.”

“I’ll get her on the phone and just—spill it, I guess.” He had not quite voiced to himself the hope that the other would offer to make the call, given the old student-teacher friendship.

“This new someone else—what’s her name?”

“Alexa. Alexa Jamison.”

“How long have you known her?”

His first impulse was to lie. But there was no use. “A week,” he said.

“A week?”

“Yes, sir.”

“One week? Seven days?”

“Well, almost a week. Six days, actually, counting today.”

“Jesus Christ, David.”

“I know.”

The old man tilted his head slightly to one side, as if he had just noticed something about his son’s face. But he said nothing. They were in his study, sun and leaf shade in the window. It looked like the light of an ordinary day.

The young man’s mother came through the house calling her husband. “Wilfred? Are you still here? You were going to get milk—” She had come to the door and, seeing her son, walked over to give him a hug. “What a nice surprise.”

“Surprise is right,” said Professor Shumaker.

“Okay.” She folded her arms. “I’m waiting. You sold the painting.”

“No.”

“I don’t think he’s ready to talk about it.”

“Really.” Her tone was light, nearly playful.

“This is serious, Lena.”

Shumaker said, “I can’t marry Sonya. I’m in love with someone else.”

For what seemed a long time, no one spoke.

His mother said, “I’ve got some work to do. You two talk about it and let me know.” She turned and went out, closing the door quietly.

“That’s my lady,” said the professor. “Through thick and thin she’s out the door.”

The young man said nothing.

“Little joke.”

“Dad, if you saw this woman—”

“If I saw her.”

“She’s the model for my new painting. It’s a nude.”

“A nude.”

“You knew I was painting her.”

“I think I’d’ve remembered if you said it was a nude.”

“It’s a commission.”

“Nude.”

“It happens all the time, Dad.”

“No kidding,” said the professor with a look.

“I’m sorry. But this whole thing just—took hold of me. I’m completely gone and if you saw her, you’d see why.”

“What the hell’re you talking about, boy? If I saw her.”

“It sounds worse than I mean it.”

“It can’t sound worse than it is.”

“Okay. You know, I can’t talk right now. I’ll call Sonya and tell her.”

“Just like that.”

“I won’t lie to her.”

“Don’t lie to yourself. That’s ego talking, you won’t lie to her—that means you want to tell her over the phone. There’s been marriage plans for Christ’s sake.”

“You’re saying I should tell her face-to-face, then...