The Context of Ethiopian Weddings in North America: Ritualized Communication

The Context ofEthiopian Weddings in North America: Ritualized Communication Astair GM Mengesha, Solomon Deressa, and Yeshi Emabet Imagnu Arizona State University West An excerpt from a poem entitled "Tales"1 is appropriate here. Tell me tales of the motherland. Of people of cultures, of customs shared, tell me of a wedding of the village treat, of parent's joy, of a common feast. Tell me tales of the motherland. Smell the aroma of spices berbere ground, of tella, tej and arike poured, hot enjera baked, of incense, of sandal, of dung, eucalyptus smoked. Tell me tales of the motherland. Hear the rhythm of mortar and pestle, clapping of hands, humming of grinding stones at the motherland. Tell me tales of the motherland. Of a bride washed and perfumed, nails, toes clipped henna decorated, circumcised, hair oiled, platted of excited friends hovering around. Tell me tales of the motherland. Is the groom ready to take a new bride, horses, mules saddled for the distant ride, comrades prepared to stand by his side. Tell me tales of the motherland. Of Logawshibo, of the groom's fate, of maidens' songs, of closing the gate, of clapping of hands to the drum beat and cursing the groom, of asking for treat. Tell me tales of the motherland. The bride is crying unsure, frightened, relatives happy, neighbors are content, time of drink and eating, fun and merriment. Tell me tales of the motherland.® Northeast African Studies (ISSN 0740-9133) Vol. 3, No. 3 (New Series) 1996, pp. 111-125111 112 Astair GMMengesha, Solomon Deressa, and Yeshi Emabet Imagnu On the mise's back the bride departed, the songs, the dance, the feast continued. Tell me tales of the motherland. Praises to the brave man for it is deserved, the warrior, the hero, just deflowered a maid. Sing of the berambar of the broken gate. The bride is a virgin a message so great, tidings to the neighbors, relatives parent. Tell me tales of the motherland. The girl, a woman her belt is unwound. God bless her with children of whom she will be proud. Tell me tales of the mother. Like all social institutions, traditional Ethiopian weddings and marriages have changed. Since significant differences can be observed between them, let us consider three general stages that manifest changes in customs of weddings and marriage practices: the pre-Second World War period, the more Westernized post-Second World War period, and the period during and after the 1973 revolutionary period. Obviously, the two early stages merge into each other rather than representing distinct socially marked phases. The third period however, represents a traumatic time of turmoil, chaos, violence and change that has dismantled many traditional institutions and customs. To many, it has been a time of insecurity separation and isolation. It has also provided an opportunity of creating liaisons of a new kind to many young men and women. These three phases are used to demonstrate the processes of change of the traditional weddings and marriages customs. This brief survey helps the reader to appreciate the nature of the social practices that existed in the Ethiopia prior to the immigration and settlement of large number of Ethiopians in North America. In order to comprehend fully the context of Ethiopian weddings in North America, it is imperative to understand the values and expectations of the traditional Ethiopian weddings and marriages. Marriage customs in Ethiopia, both civil and religious, vary among ethnic groups.2 There are also differences on the basis of wealth and religious convictions. In general, it can be said that marriage, traditionally, is between families rather than individuals. Marriage expectations also differ on the basis of age and gender.3 The Context ofEthiopian Weddings 113 Before the Second World War, age was considered one of the most important factors that affected marriage. Females have usually been much younger than males at the time of marriage. For instance, among groups that have practiced child marriage, a bride of the age of seven to nine may be sent to live in the home of her future husband. She will be trained by her mother-in-law who may protect her and treat her as a daughter of...