Why I Don't Keep The Sabbath: A Parable

A vegan, smashed, crashes at a bud's pad Friday dawn,Surrealistic Pillow left spinning on the boom, no onesober enough to turn out the light. Awakened hardon Saturday at 5, the vegan can't find his keys, so waltzeshome. Arriving at sun down, he cracks the lastBud Lite in an otherwise empty fridge (except a carrotand kosher dills); self-mockingly sniffs the hopsas if citron and etrog. For this reason, I nolonger associate Halakah with our salvation.