Some Comments on Professor Sirkka Heiskanen-Mäkelä's Translation of Emily Dickinson's "Further in Summer than the Birds"

I have been asked to comment on Professor Sirkka Heiskanen-Mäkelä's translation of Emily Dickinson's poem "Further in Summer than the Birds," from another Finnish Dickinson translator's point of view.

In her article, Professor Heiskanen-Mäkelä thoroughly introduces her readers into her ideas and methods of translating Emily Dickinson's poetry on the whole, and this particular poem quite specially. Besides, her Rückübersetzung, i. e. the English version of her translation, conveys the idea of the way she has interpreted this poem. Thus, there is not very much left for me to say. Yet as hardly any of the readers of Professor Heiskanen-Mäkelä's translation understand Finnish, some comments may be helpful.

As for the difficulties in translating Emily Dickinson's poetry on the whole, I come to think of what Masako Takeda, the Japanese Emily Dickinson scholar and translator, says in her article, "On Translating Emily Dickinson into Japanese": "Indeed, it might be said that her poetry resists translation." I think Masako Takeda is right, especially in the case of such languages as Japanese and Finnish, so completely different from English and most other languages. As all Emily Dickinson translators know, the poet seems to hold that the normal use of words is purely an arrangement, commonly accepted for convenience of understanding, while she herself is entitled to use even conventionally adapted words as she thinks suitable. Thus, Dickinson's language is often esoteric.

On the other hand, as Emily Dickinson calls her poetry her "Letter to the World," it is most important that the translators should face the difficulties in translating her poems, and find ways of "forwarding" her "letter." Very often the only way of interpreting Emily Dickinson's poetry—her message, I would say—into Finnish, is to ask oneself how she would have expressed herself if she had written in Finnish. This brings to mind what Dickinson says in one of her poems (P285): "The Robin's my criterion for Tune—/ Because I grow—where Robins do—/ But were I Cuckoo born—/ I'd swear by him—." Though Dickinson was thinking here of her own background and its influence upon her, one might say, mutatis mutandis, that this is often all an Emily Dickinson translator can do: to "swear by the Cuckoo" instead of Dickinson's "Robin," especially if the translator comes from a completely different family of languages.

Thus, you can understand that in translating Emily Dickinson's poem "Further in Summer than the Birds" into Finnish, Professor Heiskanen-Mäkelä has had many difficulties to face, for in this particular poem, Dickinson's esoteric language is most "shorthandlike," as it were. Yet the translator has finely mastered the difficulties; and when she has had to "swear by the Cuckoo," she has done it skillfully.

Some Details, Picked out from the Translation

2nd stanza, line 1.

The first word on line 1, Näe, is a verbal form, the third person singular of the verb nähdä, to see. In her article, Professor Heiskanen-Mäkelä explains the possibility of using, in Finnish, the third person singular, without any subject, instead of the passive voice. Using the third person singular in this way here gives one the impression of the presence of someone, an observer, the poet, observing Nature.

The exceptional word order, with the verb näe at the beginning and the negation at the end, emphasizes the invisibility of the "Ordinance," i. e. the fact that the "Ordinance" is definitely not to be seen, only heard.

2nd stanza, line 3, the last word.

Here, too, the translator has used the third person singular instead of the passive voice (tiedostuu, "one becomes aware"). This brings to mind the presence of someone, whose sense of loneliness Nature herself seems to partake of for the moment.

3rd stanza, line 1.

Professor Heiskanen-Mäkelä has translated the adjective "Antiquest" by using the superlative form of the Finnish equivalent for "strange," "odd." In a letter she wrote me...