- Difficulties in a Japanese Translation of "Further in Summer than the Birds"
"Further in Summer than the Birds": Japanese, Finnish
Further in Summer than the BirdsPathetic from the GrassA minor Nation celebratesIt's unobtrusive Mass.
No Ordinance be seenSo gradual the GraceA pensive Custom it becomesEnhancing Loneliness.
Antiquest felt at NoonWhen August burning lowArise this spectral CanticleRepose to typify
Remit as yet no GraceNo Furrow on the GlowYet a Druidic DifferenceEnhances Nature now
(P1068) [End Page 95]
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tori yorimo natsu ni fukaku | Further in Summer than the Birds |
chiisana monotachi ga kusamura no fukami kara | Pathetic from the Grass |
hissorito setsunage ni | A minor Nation celebrates |
mure no misa o agete iru | It's unobtrusive Mass. |
nan no gishiki mo mienai | No Ordinance be seen |
onchoo mo totemo yukkuri | So gradual the Grace |
sore wa monosamishii narai to natte | A pensive Custom it becomes |
kodoku ga tsunoru | Enhancing Loneliness. |
mahiru ni mo inishie ni sekiryoo ga tsunoru | Antiquest felt at Noon |
hachigatsu ga hikuku moeru koro | When August burning low |
kono maboroshi no seika ga wakiagari | Arise this spectral Canticle |
kyuusoku o yokoku suru | Repose to typify |
mada onchoo mo todokanai | Remit as yet no Grace |
yookoo ni mo kageri ga nai ga | No Furrow on the Glow |
ima Doruido-kyoo teki chigai ga | Yet a Druidic Difference |
shizen o takamete iru | Enhances Nature now |
In Japan, we can read this poem in translations by ten different Dickinson scholars. The first translation was by Mr. Motoji Karita in 1955.
We Japanese are very much interested in the turning of the seasons, and we make much of vagueness in expressing ourselves. So, even though Dickinson does not write the name of the insect, it is rather easy to guess the name. Crickets' sounds, which every summer in Kyoto, where I live, I can first hear around August 25, are one of the most common autumn sounds in Japan. We are deeply impressed with the beautiful songs, which go straight to our heart and make us nostalgic.
Difficulties and Solutions
1. Humor
There are many exaggerated nouns and adjectives which are unusual expressions to use about crickets. Crickets' sounds are rather low, and the number is not so many at the beginning of the season. Such an innocent sound of crickets is "Pathetic" and "celebrates / It's unobtrusive Mass." These expressions can be called a kind of humor, like English humor, which is a little bit humorous and a little bit sad at the same time. But we feel that crickets' calls are more melancholic than humorous. [End Page 97]
2. Religious words
There are unfamiliar religious words connected to the crickets' sounds. But in Japan, only about one percent of the population is Christian. So the metaphors concerning Christianity are very hard to understand. And the religious words, "Mass" in a Catholic church, for example, generally sound very serious and mysterious, not humorous.
Dickinson does not necessarily need to use the Catholic words as a metaphor, but the word "Mass" happens to occur to her as a rhyme with "Grass." She dares to use these expressions to make a humorous atmosphere in this poem. After such humorous strategy and the subjunctive mood which shows uncertainty in the second, third, and fourth stanzas, the last two lines in the last stanza are strongly and confidently defined. But we are sorry that we cannot notice her humorous strategy easily.
Dickinson compares crickets' sounds to "celebrates . . . Mass." In the Catholic church, the mass, in Dickinson's days, was in Latin. The crickets' sounds coming from the grass sound like the murmur of a Latin mass. This metaphor is amusing and a little bit ironic, I think. But it is impossible to communicate the effect of the feeling in the Japanese translation without explaining the religious knowledge in a note.
Dickinson uses the word, "Canticle." Canticle is used in the Catholic and Anglican churches. A canticle goes straight to your heart when you become familiar with it, although the words are rather short and the melody is simple. So a...