I Exist Filthily, and: Marana: Heroine in a Porno Cartoon. Part 3, and: Marana: Heroine in a Porno Cartoon. Part 4, and: Nonsenso, and: Passing the Cotton Field the Boy Went Away

I Exist Filthily

I am trapped inside my body. Inside my body, I meet my idol every day without exception. My idol would change its appearance every time it came to meet me. Sometimes it appeared before me as a bug with a thick horny casing lying wriggling upside-down on a railway track, sometimes as a boy clutching his teardrops in both hands, as a crazed youth dreaming a secret conspiracy to cut his sleeping father in half with an axe to feed the dogs, and on some days in the form of a monkey’s back disappearing as it went shambling toward a dark alley, its face covered with a gigantic hat made of a blanket.

On every such occasion, all the beings of my memory trapped inside my body ate up my fear then stood up and set about waging a dried-skin battle with life. Then, collapsing in every corner of my body, they made my body rot.

Today again, trapped inside my rotting body, I will meet my idol. As much as I crouch—my idol, digging down into my body that confines me, will appear before me. Now my idol is making ready to approach me. He is digging into my body to clear a passage.

    —Now, start!I ran out of my body.Grandfather came chasing after me with a club.Grandmother stood in my way.Trampling over grandmother, I went on down the hill.Grandfather put the club on the groundand helped fallen grandmother up.

Piercing the ceiling, a big rat came down.I raised the cluband smashed it down in the direction of the big rat.The big rat escaped beneath my feet.Putting the broken club down, I chased the big rat.The big rat went down the drain.I began to dig at the drain.

Fallen grandmother stood upand picked up grandfather’s club.Father stood in the way of grandmother with her club.Grandmother smashed father’s head with the club.Father pushed grandma over as he fell.Pinned beneath father, grandfather fell

The big rat escaped through the drain on the opposite side.It went into the kitchen.Holding the club again, I went into the kitchen.The big rat had sat down inside my rice-bowl.I smashed the club down in the direction of the bowl.The bowls went flying, the cutlery-box brokeand the spoons scattered.The big rat escaped from the bowl and went into the fireplace.I picked up a pickaxe and began to break up the kitchen.

Mother came running.She grabbed grandmother by the hair.Grandmother brandished the club.Mother held grandmother’s hair and shook her.Dropping the club, grandmotherfell beneath mother’s feet.Grandfather stood up and kicked mother’s behind.

Escaping from the fireplace, the big rat went into the room.Holding the pickaxe, I ran into the room.The big rat went into the closet.With the pickaxe I smashed the closet.I pulled aside the clothes and took out the bedding.The big rat lifted my underwearand went into the bedding.I trampled on the clothes and stirred up the bedding.

Eldest sister picked up the club againand smashed grandfather’s head.Grandfather fell, hitting his noseon mother’s behind.When second sister came running in and began to biteeldest sister’s shoulder, fallen father stood up.He grabbed the club from eldest sister’s handand smashed both sisters’ heads.The sisters with their smashed heads fell on top of grandmother.Father who was bleeding also fell.

The big rat escaped again.It went behind the closet.After standing high on top of the closetthe big rat leapt at my face.I fell down on the floor.Blood flowed from my brow.

The big rat ran...