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  • The Mammoth Horse Waits
  • J. Bowers (bio)

The Wonder Of The Age!
THE
LARGEST HORSE
IN THE WORLD!
Now Exhibiting At
Egyptian Hall, Piccadilly,
THE MAMMOTH HORSE,
General Washington,
The Property Of Mr. Carter, the Lion King.

He is Twenty Hands in height, weighs Twenty-five Hundred Pounds, and is the most remarkable Animal, as regards size and shape, that was ever seen.

He will be exhibited from 12 till 4 o'clock each day.
ADMISSION - ONE SHILLING

Mr. C. Will Give £1000 for a MATCH to the MAMMOTH HORSE!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I must admit that it didn't surprise me in the least to discover that my friend Mr. Carter was still billing himself as the Lion King as late as 1846. Of course, he'd sworn he was done with that life years before, citing the high cost of beefsteak, the dozens of charlatans operating imitation big cat shows in London, and his latest grievous bodily injury, which had very nearly gone septic. Nonetheless, Carter still maintained a sizable menagerie of man-eating lions in Brighton, so I hoped he'd soon return to work. You see, my brief return to England was not purely a social call. At that time, I was attempting to establish a circus back in Connecticut, and I'd found it impossible to buy the exotic livestock I required from local suppliers. Carter had lions and jaguars to spare. I'd come hoping to strike a bargain. Repeatedly, I tried to bring my old friend around to the subject, but he just kept on ranting about his latest [End Page 95] acquisition, the centerpiece of his new plan to provide "a brand of genteel, wholesome family amusement"to the masses—the world's first and only "mammoth horse."

Carter called the beast "General Washington." Initially, he told me that he'd won it in a game of draughts, but that was before he'd arrived at a more satisfying explanation: that the noble steed was found galloping among a herd of mustangs on the Great Plains, and the combined might of twelve British-made steam engines was required to break his ironclad American will. This was the patriotic myth he trotted out for an informal gathering of fellow expatriate showmen in the back room of the Lamb and Flag, in a brazen attempt to outshine Phineas Taylor Barnum, king of us all, who presided over our private table with a benevolent eye. The great showman seemed to possess endless reserves of mirth and Cuban cigars. He passed both around our table like a favorite uncle dispensing sweets.

"That's marvelous, just marvelous," he crowed, puffing on his third cigar. "The Mammoth Horse!" Reminds me of the 'Woolly Horse' I have back in New York, sole survivor of a native species now believed to be completely extinct, common ancestor to the deer, camel, buffalo, and giraffe. My European scout found it pulling a fruit cart in Austria—can you imagine? I now exhibit the beast alongside a blonde Circassian beauty who spins its wool into souvenir yarn. Very popular with the housewives."

Most of us laughed, happy in the company of a living legend. You see, for our brotherhood of Yankee showmen, the entertainments presented at London's Egyptian Hall marked the Copernican center of the universe. A visit from Barnum, our largest satellite, was a rare occasion to be drawn into his grander orbit, to bask in the reflected glow of his wealth and fame. And then there was Carter, his chapped lips drawn tight beneath his waxed mustache. It was no secret that Barnum and Thumb's triumphant arrival had knocked the Lion King off his precarious throne. People were looking at Barnum, not Carter, and that was more than my proud friend could ever abide.

"Both beasts eat hay, and that's where the similarities end," he snapped. "I assure you there's no wool or glue involved in my act. Yes, Barnum, I've seen your 'Woolly Horse.' It is—like some others I might name—little more than an ass in sheep's clothing."

"Oh, well done, Carter!" bellowed Barnum, oblivious, or perhaps too polite...

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