Nux Vomica (Poison Nut): from Boericke’s Materia Medica

Considered the greatest of polychrests—from the Greek, poly- as in “many,” -chrestos as in “useful,” meaning useful for many purposes, the way my father’s death explains so much of my life, from sad sex to maxed credit cards—because many of its symptoms correspond with those of the most common diseases. I’m not the only daughter who has betrayed her father, which absolves little, if anything at all. It is often the first remedy administered in a homeopathic program, indicated after excesses, therapeutic and otherwise—he got his first tattoo at sixty-two: dots on his chest marking crosshairs for the radiation beam—establishing an equilibrium of forces and counteracting chronic effects. The chemo tube hung like a sippy straw to his heart. It is the pre-eminent remedy for conditions resulting from the stresses of modern life. The treatments gave him hepatitis C, turning him into a victim of perpetual bad lighting, his skin and sclera the color of canned peaches.

Those most in need of Nux are rather thin, quick, active, nervous, and irritable. Back and forth we drove to the oncologists, the labs, the prayer meetings, speeding across I-10 and pleading to the occasional officer, Hey, can you give a man with cancer a break? They suffer mental strain and lead sedentary lives, as seen in prolonged office work and over-study. He was a mustard stain blotting the Mayo exam rooms. I left teeth marks on the vinyl-covered beds. Indoor life and mental stress cause them to seek stimulants (i.e., coffee) to complete their tasks—our valued customer punch cards at Our Daily Bean and Frosty Time added up exponentially—then use sedatives (i.e., tobacco) to quell their excitement. He fell asleep to James Bond, dreaming of hand-to-hand combat with Dr. No to save the busty blond who’s just lost her bikini top. They soon seek other indulgences, such as wine, women, rich and stimulating foods, to escape the day’s tensions. I seduced men in chat rooms with my sorrows and killed digital zombies till dawn.

Late hours become a lifestyle—I was always late to my hostess job, my little black dresses not fully zipped, loose panels limp wings behind me—as do the following day’s headaches, indigestion, and foul temper. I brandished the smell of hospital antiseptic on my skin like the world’s holiest perfume. They then take aspirin, laxatives, or diuretics and soon make habit of such, pushing their health into further decline. Restaurant ice cream, colas, cakes, and pie—I needed an inside-out cleanse to squeeze myself back into my dresses. The remedy gave me the shits and weeks of my armpits stinking of sour milk and old piss. Since men more than women fall into such tendencies—I lost seven pounds and felt marvelous—Nux is pre-eminently a male remedy, which meant, it would work even better on my father.

Ongoing cycles of induced stimulation and sedation tax the nervous system, making Nux patients hypersensitive—he said, “I’m not as strong as you are”—which Nux will do much to soothe and calm. I said, “Open wide.” It is especially adapted to digestive disturbances, portal congestion, and hypochondriac states. All it took was three drops squeezed under his tongue. Nux indicators include convulsions, with consciousness. Too many toxins for his body to expel. Symptoms worsen with touch and moving. Three hours of him coughing dark, clotted blood before I realized we needed 911. Nux patients easily chill and avoid open air. The paramedics in the kitchen, my father’s body on the vinyl tile, his blue sweatshirt slit up the middle to expose his hairless chest, the defibrillator too late.

They always seem to be out of tune, bodies displaying spasmodic action and disharmony—as in the forgiveness I refuse myself even as I pray for its coming. A balm in the affliction.