The Mountaineers Learning Marksmanship

“Lootenant,” says the mountaineer with a deceptive look of innocence, “I think I know what you’re tryin’ to teach these fellers here,” — with a look of pitying contempt at his beknighted companions, as if their ignorance was past his comprehension — “Now ain’t it this” — the mountaineer went on gently, at the same time taking the rifle from his superior’s hands — “Ain’t you tryin’ to tell ’em that they ought to shoot a gun like this?”—and with these words, and with a single movement, he brought the rifle to his shoulder and, without sighting, hit the bullseye at the heart.

“Why I —” the lieutenant flinched, red as a ripe tomato on the farm.

“Why hell, no, Jim” — another mountaineer now interposed—“You ain’t got it right at all — what the loo-tenant has been tryin’ to tell you is that you ought to take a gun” — here he took the rifle from his comrade — “an’ shoot it like this” — with these words he took a single swift look at the target and then shot from his hip a ringing bullseye a trifle closer to the center of the target — if that were possible — than his comrade’s — “Ain’t that what you’re tryin’ to tell us, lootenant?” he said innocently, as he turned to his superior officer.

“Why I — No!” the lieutenant shouted “that is decidedly not what I’m saying—that is not the way to do it — what you ought to do — ”

“Here, lootenant,” a third mountaineer now quietly put in—“you let me tell ’em; this crowd here’s so dumb they wouldn’t understand you if you drawed a picksher fer ’em — Now you fellers look at me,” this third man said quietly and authoritatively, as he took possession of the rifle “ — what the lootenant’s been tryin’ to tell you all along is that when you shoot a gun you ought to do it proper — now you take the gun like this — ain’t that right, loo-tenenat?” —

“Why, er — you bring — ”

“You bring it up like this — am I right or wrong, loo-tenant? — ”

“Why, er — in a way — ”

“Now you aim the gun like this — ain’t that the way you do it, loo-tenant? — ”

“Why, er — ”

“And then you pull the trigger” — with these words he shot three times and missed completely every time.

“Hell,” said the mountaineer, as he handed the rifle back to his superior — “you fellers are so dumb you don’t know enough to come out of the rain — I knowed what the lootenant was talkin’ about the minute he showed me.”