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317  Dawn on the Mountain  another Farm field pleasure 7 poems 1 of them [1] [桃 紅 復 含 宿 雨] peach crimson also contains inn rain {encloses} {pass night} Peach blossoms are crimson, and also contain the rain that has/lodged there (in the night) (in the petals) [Peach flowers turn the dew crimson,] {en}1 [2] [柳 綠 更 帶 春 煙] Willow green newly belts spring2 smoke {also} Willow is green and also holds {belts} in with its silhouette the/spring mists//(parallelism of words of these lines)3 [Green willows melt4 in the mist,] [3] [花 落 家 童 未 掃] Flower falling house servant not yet sweep [The servant will not sweep up the fallen petals,] {ō} {min} [4] [鶯 啼 山 客 猶 眠] Uguisu5 crying6 mountain guest still sleeps nightengale (the person who lives here)7 (another complete parallelism) [ And the nightingales Persist in their singing.] [Omakitsu]8 All Chinese poems have rhyme, but the/rhyming varies with different stanza. 318 Cribs for Cathay & Other Poems Notes DAWN ON THE MOUNTAIN (99–4220:21, MF 3376; Pound’s #5; WWJJZ 2:407; the sixth in Wang Wei’s 王維 (c. 692–c.759) series of seven poems Tian yuan le 田園樂 (The Joy of Fields and Gardens). Hexasyllabic quatrain (liuyan jueju 六言絕句). With Hirai, September 1896. This crib appears in the notebooks immediately before the first of the “Four Poems of Departure,” but Pound’s translation was not published until three years later (in The Little Review, November 1918) after he had returned to the early Hirai notebook in late 1916 to draft a number of translations from Wang Wei and Li Bo. Pound suggests in a letter of July 1918 to Margaret Anderson that The Little Review could publish these two translations which he had sent her a “year or more ago”; Thomas Scott et al., eds., The Letters of Ezra Pound to Margaret Anderson: The Little Review Correspondence (New York: New Directions, 1989), 240. For reproductions of Pound’s early drafts, see Qian (1995, 100–104), or the originals in 100–4230. For three fascinating versions by Fenollosa himself (two metered), see the discussion in Jonathan Stalling, The Poetics of Emptiness (New York: Fordham University Press, 2011), 81f, reprinted in Ernest Fenollosa and Ezra Pound, The Chinese Written Character as a Medium for Poetry, ed. Haun Saussy, Jonathan Stalling, and Lucas Klein (New York: Fordham University Press, 2008), 134. For more on the jueju 絕句 verse form, see the first of the “Four Poems of Departure.” The hexasyllabic quatrain is atypical; this is a famous exemplar. 1. en: The Japanese on-reading of yan 煙 (smoke). Along with “min” in line 4 for mian 眠 (sleep), these insertions indicate the rhyme words. 2. 春/spring: This is a textual variant for the more authoritative zhao 朝 (dawn). 3. (parallelism of words in these lines): Qian fancifully transcribes this note as “(parallelism of words in Omar [Khayyam] lines),” but the comparison to Persian poetry is Qian’s, not Hirai’s; Zhaoming Qian, Orientalism and Modernism: The Legacy of China in Pound and Williams (Durham, N.C.: Duke University Press, 1995), 101. As Hirai notes again at the end, both couplets in this quatrain are perfectly parallel. 4. belts/melt: Both of Pound’s two early drafts (100–4230) read “belt” as in the crib, which would make “melt” here more surprising if Fenollosa’s b did not closely resemble an m (his initial m often starts with an ascender, and here the loop on the b does not close before connecting to the e). This suggests that Pound reconsulted the notebooks once more before publication and was prompted by what he saw there. As in other instances, Pound may well have been fully aware that “melt” was not an “accurate” translation, but merely an initial misreading of “belt” in Fenollosa’s handwriting, which he may have preferred because it sounded better and was close enough to the sense to be acceptable, that is, a blending of willow and mist. On the other hand, he may simply have misread “belt” as “melt” when taking a second look at the manuscripts and thought he had finally figured out why the former didn’t make much sense. To his credit, Hirai was trying to gloss dai 帶 (a belt; to carry; to contain) so that it would preserve the concreteness of the original sense of “belt” while also conveying the extended sense of holding or containing (i.e., “belts in”), partly to express the parallelism with han 含 (to contain; to carry) in the previous line, which Pound cuts altogether. See line 7 of “After Ch’u Yuan,” and line 6...


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