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10. Living with the Spectre of the Past: Traumatic Experiences among Wives of Former Political Prisoners of the '1965 Event' in Indonesia
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270 Budiawan 270 CHAPTER 10 Living with the Spectre of the Past: Traumatic Experiences among Wives of Former Political Prisoners of the ‘1965 Event’ in Indonesia Budiawan Introduction A s with the end of authoritarian rule elsewhere, the fall of Suharto in Indonesia created an opportunity for survivors of past political violence to break their silence publicly. Among those who have taken the chance to express themselves are former political prisoners of the ‘1965 event’ (or eks-tapol, as the popular Indonesian term goes).1 These former prisoners have claimed the right to be regarded as victims, instead of perpetrators, of the past tragedy. Their claims have appeared in memoirs, autobiographies or other forms of self-narrative — publication of which began only a few months after Suharto stepped down in May 1998, and has been booming ever since. Twenty-five memoirs or autobiographies of former political prisoners of the 1965 event have been published since early 1999, in addition to dozens of books — both translations of foreign scholars’ works and those written by Indonesian academics — presenting various alternative versions of the 1965 event and its aftermath.2 A number of organizations have also been formed to campaign for rehabilitation. The primary objective of these self-articulations is to seek public recognition of their claims about what happened, in order to find release from their own burden of the past. Living with the Spectre of the Past 271 At least four organizations of eks-tapol have been established since early 1999, such as YPKP 1965–66 (Yayasan Penelitian Korban Pembunuhan 1965–66, Foundation for Research into the Victims of the 1965–66 Massacres), LPKP 1965–66 (Lembaga Penelitian Korban Pembunuhan 1965–66, Institute for Research into the Victims of the 1965–66 Massacres), LPKrop (Lembaga Perjuangan Rehabilitasi Korban Rezim Orde Baru, Institute for the Struggle to Rehabilitate Victims of the New Order Regime), and Pakorba (Pagayuban Korban Order Baru, Community of the Victims of the New Order Regime). In principle, these four organizations struggle for public acknowledgement of victims of the past violence and for the rehabilitation of their civic rights. What makes them different is, among other things, the methods they employ to achieve their aspirations. LPKP 1965–66, for instance, not only builds its networks within Indonesia but also lobbies international agencies such as the International Court. Pakorba, for its part, has formed an alliance with victims of other gross human rights violations of the New Order regime. The other two, YPKP 1965–66 and LPKrop, cooperate with legal aid organizations and human rights advocates within Indonesia only. However, not every survivor of the 1965 event welcomes this opportunity. Rather than taking part in these memorial movements, some prefer to remain silent about what they have experienced. Among these are wives of eks-tapol, particularly those who ‘committed adultery’ (berselingkuh) or started another relationship while their husbands were imprisoned. These survivors were never jailed, tortured, raped or even detained for interrogation; they were not political prisoners. Yet their ‘adultery’ has made them feel imprisoned in the past. It is easy to see how their situation might have led them to enter into other relationships . The imprisonment of their husbands placed them in a position of great insecurity — nobody knew how long their husbands would be in jail, leaving them to struggle for survival in the meantime. Yet, since many other wives of political prisoners did remain faithful to their absent spouses, they have had to suffer the harsh judgment of those around them for having chosen this path. They are left with the feeling that they lost the struggle to master their situation. It is partly this feeling that has left them unable to express their memories. In other words, although they suffered ‘only’ the indirect effects of the past political violence, they are still living with the spectre of the past. [54.89.24.147] Project MUSE (2024-03-28 14:54 GMT) 272 Budiawan This chapter is concerned with several such cases. There are at least two reasons why they are worth discussing. Firstly, when mass political violence leads to some sections of society being either imprisoned or killed by the party that seizes power, not a few children are orphaned and wives widowed, whether permanently or temporarily while the father/husband is imprisoned. Children grow up without their fathers and wives are stuck in an ambiguous, liminal state so long as their husbands remain in prison. However, these victims are absent from...