The Tragedy of Mr No Balance

Scene IV

15 Scene IV It is Monday morning. At Mr. No-Balance's office, all are present for the test but Bih. There's growing impatience, when B Bih strolls in sluggishly Bih: I’m sorry to be late. I were getting up late and I tries too Jack (cutting in with a laugh): Is this a candidate for this test? He cannot make a simple, correct sentence! You're done for my... No-Balance: Shut up. It's none of your business. Your test consists of mental work, only. Now, when I ask anyone a question, the answer must be given in a twinkle of an eye. Now, number one Question is for Tim 0x0x0x0x0x0x0-0-0-0-0x10? Tim: 0 No-Balance: Yes. Now number two question is for Jack. 30 - 30? (Jack stands up and looks steadily at Mr. No-Balance. There is silence for a few seconds) Well, it's more than time allowed. You're unable to answer it. You have zero there. Jack (protesting): Did you twinkle your eyes to indicate that I should answer? I have been watching you that you twinkle your eyes before I answer, but you didn’t. After all, didn’t t you instruct to answer in a twinkle of an eye? You’ve instead failed in officiating accordingly. I’ll do it myself. (He sits down, blinks, and answers) The answer is zero or in simple mathematical terms naught. No-Balance (releases a heavy breath): Number three question is for Bih. 0x0? Bih (racks his brain): Em … Em … Em … No-Balance (cutting in): I forgot that you’re a stammerer. You say naught? Bih: Yes. Naught. (Tim and J Jack look at each other) No-Balance: This is the last set and it will be difficult. Jack: Only remember my bottles of oils and repay me reasonably. No-Balance: Who is the President of Ka…? Jack (cutting In with a jump): President Ahidjo! 16 No-Balance (enraged): Was it your turn or did I call you up? More so, did I ask for the name of the President of Cameroon? Jack: You shaped your lips to pronounce the name Cameroon, and that jarred me up. I, again, being a patriot of my country, couldn't sit down to hear a dunce rack his brain over such a simple question. This, however, exhibits in me two qualities: one, my ability to answer in a twinkle of an eye; two, my knowledge of understanding equivocal statements in no time. No-Balance: Sit down there. You have zero here. Jack: What are you talking about? I'm going away. This is no test. There’s some foul play here. (He stands up as if to go away) No-Balance: Now, Tim and Bih, as prospective Manager of this corporation, where is my likely residence when I own a car? Jack (cutting in): In jail! And I’ll drive you into the prison yard in your car! (Jack goes out. There is a short silence) No-Balance: Mister Tim, now that you are two of you, I’d like to know something of you. Which do you prefer: to go to jail or forfeit this job? Tim: All sounds the same, Sir. But why am I to go to jai1? No-Balance (hushing him to be silent): Do you remember the disgrace you gave my wife in my own house? I have a good mind now to phone for the police. Should I do so? (He pretends to be looking for the telephone when T Tim prevents him and pleads) Tim: No, sir. I'll go away right now. I'm sorry for what I did. No-Balance: You asked for a punishment and that's it. No job for you. Thank you. Tim (as he starts to leave): O God! O God, forbid the ghost. Why, was I born to suffer? So, I'm doomed for life. Must I then turn to dishonesty? Nevertheless, every dog has its own day. Today is Bih's. (Tim exits) No-Balance (looks at Bih, happily): Bih, have a handshake on your success. They say, today is your day. Little do they know of your power of 17 understanding equivocal statements? It's wonderful! Now, let's come to business. You’ll be paid as an office boy 4,500 francs per month. I see you like it. I'll make you all right...