The Crabs of Bangui

Chapter Four

27 Chapter Four T he circumstances of their meeting notwithstanding and the rumours in the air of many failed engagements in the past notwithstanding, Marion and Hansel had a happy and exemplary marriage. To the core and to the end, she was a very devoted housewife, spoke to her husband with love and respect and made sure that she never consciously or even unconsciously did anything to bring shame or embarrassment to the family. She was a real pearl, a workaholic of the first water. Scarcely ever finding time to really take a deserved rest after school, she was always working on her sewing machine or in the garden or mopping the floor, rearranging the furniture. They were blessed with four children in rapid succession which she adored just as she respected her husband: Philemon (1984), Henry (1987), Perdita (1990) and Jessica (1994). When they got married Marion gave him an “Ego Assessment” exercise to complete as honestly as possible and return to her. She called it “a psychology game.” The purpose was to give her a very general idea of the personality of her partner: A. Social Respect Vs social Contempt (how you feel other people perceive you or feel about you today 10. Excite the admiration and awe of everybody who matters 9. Stand extremely high in the estimation of people whose opinions count to you. 28 Linus T. Asong 8. People I admire recognize and respect my good points 7. Confident that some people think well of me. 6. Feel you are appreciated and respected to some degree. 5. Some people don’t seem to see much value in you. 4. You are looked upon as being of small or of no account. 3. People have no respect for you at all. 2. You are scorned, slighted, pushed aside. 1. Everybody despises you and holds you in contempt. B. Sociability Vs Withdrawal (how socially outgoing or withdrawn you felt today) 10. Immensely sociable and outgoing. 9. Highly outgoing, congenial and friendly. 8. Very sociable and involved in things. 7. Companionable. Ready to mix with others. 6. Fairly sociable. More or less accessible. 5. Not particularly outgoing. Feel a little bit unsociable. 4. Retiring, would like to avoid people. 3. Feel detached and withdrawn. A great distance between yourself and others. 2. Self-contained and solitary. 1. Completely withdrawn. Want no human contact. C. Love and Sex (the extent to which you felt loving and tender, or sexually frustrated and unloving) 10. Feel the rapture of full, joyous, and complete love 9. Tremendous gratification, delight, love and trust. 8. Warm sharing of intimacy and affection. 7. Pleasant companionship and some affection. Sharing interests and good times. 6. Fairly satisfying experiences or expectations. Some mutual interest and understanding. 5. Not much feeling of mutual understanding. Some lack of interest. Slightly frustrated. 29 The Crabs of Bangui 4. Little feeling of relationship. Considerable indifference. Moderately frustrated. 3. Feel unable to maintain good relationships. Unloved. Much frustration. 2. Hurt, bewildered, incapable of loving or being loved. Vast amount of frustration. 1. Hopeless, cold, unloved and unloving. D.Present Work (how satisfied or dissatisfied you were with your work) 10. Tremendous, intense delight in your work. Proud of your purpose, skill, and accomplishment. 9. Great pleasure and enjoyment in your work. Much fulfilment through work. 8. Considerable satisfaction with your work. Eager to continue. 7. Satisfied with my work. Encouraged to go on with it. 6. More or less satisfied with your work. Keep plugging along. 5. Somewhat dissatisfied with your work. Not much enjoyment doing it. 4. Dissatisfied with your work. Can’t see much good in it. Moderately frustrated. 3. Greatly dissatisfied with your work. Not doing a good job. Markedly frustrated. 2. Tremendously dissatisfied and frustrated in your work. Befuddled. Disorganised. 1. Completely dissatisfied and frustrated in your work. Hopeless, useless chaos. E. Thought Processes (how readily your ideas came and how valuable they seemed) 10. Your are a surging torrent of spectacular insights. 30 Linus T. Asong 9. Brilliant penetrating ideas emerging spontaneously and with great rapidity. 8. Ideas coming quickly and effortlessly. 7. Clever and keen. 6. Quite alert. Thoughts fairly quick and clear. 5. Not particularly alert. Your ideas trivial and commonplace. 4. Your mind feels ponderous and dull. My thoughts are slow and monotonous. 3. Your thoughts all seem weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable. 2. Your mind is stagnant. Almost nothing freshens it...