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Chapter Three. The Couple's Descriptions of Their Relationship
- Hong Kong University Press, HKU
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Chapter Three The Couple's Descriptions of Their Relationship This chapter analyses the spouses' descriptions and evaluations of various aspects of their relationship, derived from their retrospective review in two structured interviews. Some spouses suggested during the interviews that the subjective evaluation of 'fit' in these various aspects coloured their experience of the relationship. This viewpoint is critically examined. T he couples interviews commenced with compliments to the spouses for investing time and effort in a review of their relationship, and with an introduction to self report questionaires as providing the structure to enable a comprehensive overview of the multiple facets of married living. Mter completing ENRICH, the spouses then participated in their first joint session to review various aspects of their relationship. This information was recorded in schedules which had been drawn up as an integral part of the research process. Mter the computer analysis of the ENRICH package had been returned from ENRICH-Canada by post the couple were invited for a feedback session in a second interview. The information provided by the inventories was openly discussed with the spouses. It was clearly understood that these interviews were confidential and that all material used in the survey would be analysed in a generalized way. The spouses were thoughtfully reminiscent and participated actively at these interviews. The research interviewers who conducted these sessions noted the very positive interest of the couple in understanding more about their relationship. This may have been due to the fact that the spouses were 46 The Hong Kong Marital Study aware that they were participating in a project and their personal reservations were alleviated by a feeling of joint activity. The fact that they had specific tasks to perform at these interviews was also an important factor in overcoming reservations. The matter-of-fact way in which the inventories were presented, as well as the structure of the proceedings, allowed searching emotional questions to be asked in an neutral way. More importantly , it enabled the spouses to respond with an openness that may not have been possible in an emotionally charged situation. The act of filling out the inventories and of checking the meaning and accuracy of particular details became a shared activity which encouraged communication between the spouses, and with the counsellor. The Structured Interviews The interview schedules were designed to obtain information on the unique aspects and special events of married living as experienced by the spouses. The areas focused on were: Aspects ofShared Living, incorporating The spouses' descriptions and feelings about their expectations, goals, sharing in parenting, homemaking, leisure and work concerns. A review of the development of their relationship from the wedding, and a discussion ~f the development of their sexual relations. Their recall ofjoyful and sad memories. Stressful events and problems experienced in the course of their marriage. Life circumstances which affected the marriage. Aspects ofEarly Life Experiences, including The spouses' descriptions of their parents' marriage; and the perceived effects of the parents' marriage subsequently on their own marriage. The spouses' descriptions of their childhood experiences; and the perceived effects of these experiences on them. Contact with Paternal and Maternal Extended Families which touched on the reciprocity between generations in terms of exchange of advice, finance, time, affection, support and practical care. The spouses' reminiscences on aspects of shared living will be discussed in this chapter. Their descriptions of early life experiences and relationships with the extended families will be examined in Chapter 6. [44.200.182.101] Project MUSE (2024-03-29 09:07 GMT) The Couple's Descriptions of Their Relationship 47 In the interviews, the spouses' descriptions and evaluation of various aspects of their relationship were encouraged. Their feelings on the extent to which they shared similar or different characteristics, preferences and interests were explored, as were their experiences of shared activities in various aspects of daily life, including affectional and sexual sharing. Problems which were affecting their relationship were identified. The couple also reviewed together their experience of stress in the marriage, as manifested in events such as periods of separation due to marital tension, suicide threats or attempts, spouse abuse, extramarital affairs, and considerations of divorce. Some spouses suggested during the interviews that a feeling of 'fit' ~ in these various aspects of interdependent living tended to influence their experience of the relationship. This concept of 'fit' figured prominently in the discussions during the interviews. It was a simple term which expressed their feeling of achieving a close matching of needs and interests with their...