I Can Almost See The Clouds of Dust: Selected Poetry of Yu Xiang

V. The Rotten and the Fresh, Both Can’t Live Anew

V THE ROTTEN AND THE FRESH, BOTH CAN’T LIVE ANEW 70 腐烂的，新鲜的 阳光直射的中午 我蹲在阳台上择韭菜 手指上粘满绿色的浆液 和褐色的土 我折断粗茎 分开腐烂的和新鲜的菜叶 腐烂的和新鲜的 都再也不能重生 几只苍蝇和一只黄蜂 在菜叶上面飞，哼叫着 瞪着七彩的眼睛 它们喜爱浓烈的腐烂气味 它们的刺是被这正午阳光加热的 滚烫的针 71 The Rotten, The Fresh sun overhead at noon I squat on the balcony picking Chinese leeks fingers stained with green juice and brown mud I break thick stalks separating rotten and fresh vegetables the rotten and the fresh both can’t live anew some flies and a bumblebee flutter above the leaves, humming staring with colorful eyes they relish the intense stench their stings are scalding needles heated by the noon sun 72 苍蝇狂想曲 走进饭店后院 一阵黑冰雹 密集地砸过来 又硬又亮的盾牌肚皮 黄水晶圆玛瑙的头 人还没有反应过来 有一些已经弹了出去 落在毛皮残缺的一堆断羊腿上 那是猎人用扭曲生锈的铁丝网 罩住猎物 另一些又粘了一会 在人的袖口 衣领 脖子 脸 眼睛周围 用细长的腿或者舌头 （已经分不清是腿还是舌头） 有几个钻进头发里 以为找到了它们的黑丛林 你驱赶，它们就更多更凶猛 碰撞 纠缠 紧逼 不顾一切 呻吟 这是高原上的声音 这是最野蛮的爱： ——敌对，亲吻 73 Fantasia of a Housefly walking into the hotel’s backyard black hailstones came pounding down in clusters hard and shiny belly shields round citrine agate heads humans had yet to react some had already sprung out landing on a mutilated pile of severed lamb legs twisted rusty barbed wires hunters used to entrap prey others stuck themselves again around humans’ cuffs collars necks faces eyes with fine, long legs or tongues (legs or tongues already indiscernible) a few made their way into hair thinking they had found their black forests you drove them away, they multiplied and turned more savage colliding entangling pressing recklessly moaning this is the voice in the highlands this is the most barbaric love — oppose, kiss 74 医生情人 不管你从事什么职业 跟我好了以后 你就是医生情人 不管你注视过多少迷茫的眼睛 拔过多少牙齿 堵过多少洞 取出多少肉瘤 捏过多少硬块 向深处—— 插入硬的手指，钳子、针头、木锉 软的手指，药棉、膏剂 不硬不软的，粗的细的管子 还有一大堆凉手指 量杯、尺子、测厚规、舌头 向更深处—— 启用透视仪、头镜、小手电 假如没有表情 你会是个好医生 撕毁多余的药方 我需要你的敬业态度 我需要你的职业经验 你曾使一些病人偏瘫、抽筋、痴呆甚至死亡 太多失败的手术，是由于你 混淆了精神和肉体，你不该去触及神经 并把它误认为是灵魂 这接近心理医生的罪，科学压制艺术的罪 法律的罪。规矩从不产生奇迹和美女 75 Doctor Lover no matter your profession once you befriend me you will become my doctor lover no matter how many perplexed eyes you’ve observed how many teeth you’ve extracted how many cavities you’ve filled how many sarcomas you’ve excised how many lumps you’ve pinched go deeper — insert stiff fingers: forceps, syringes, scalpels soft fingers: sanitary cotton, ointments tubes neither stiff nor soft, both thick and thin and a large pile of cold fingers measuring cups, rulers, thickness gauges, tongues go even deeper — enable the CT scanners, headlamp, penlight if there is no expression you are a good doctor tear up any spare prescriptions I need your professional dedication I need your professional experience you once caused patients hemiplegia, muscle spasms, dementia, even death so many failed surgeries because you confused the spirit with the flesh, you shouldn’t have touched the nerves mistaking them as the soul almost a psychological crime, a crime of science suppressing art criminal law — regulations never produce miracles or beauty 76 心理医生不是医生 我需要你娴熟的手艺，不是怜悯 如果你考虑我是否会痛，手术刀 就会划错地方 不要问我以前的病 跟我好了以后你不许再花心 医生情人，此刻我看见： 你摘下口罩和医用手套 你正在以新的行动 抹去以往放荡的名声 你正走过来： 身穿黑大褂，提着一袋子闪亮的刀子 77 psychologists aren’t doctors I need your deft craftsmanship, not your pity if you consider my pain, your surgical knife will cut into the wrong place don’t ask me about my past illnesses once you befriend me you can’t flirt anymore doctor lover, at this moment I watch you take off your surgical mask and medical gloves perform new movements wiping off the notoriety for past debauchery you now approach me in a black lab coat, clutching a bag of shining knives ...