Wind Says: Selected Poetry of Bai Hua

Section V. Memories

(V) Memories 76 往事 这些无辜的使者 她们平凡地穿着夏天的衣服 坐在这里，我的身旁 向我微笑 向我微露老年的害羞的乳房 那曾经多么热烈的旅途 那无知的疲乏 都停在这陌生的一刻 这善意的，令人哭泣的一刻 老年，如此多的躹躬 本地普通话﹝是否必要呢？﹞ 温柔的色情的假牙 一腔烈火 我已集中精力看到了 中午的清风 它吹拂相遇的眼神 这伤感 这坦开的仁慈 这纯属旧时代的风流韵事 啊，这些无辜的使者 她们频频走动 悄悄叩门 满怀恋爱和敬仰 来到我经历太少的人生 1988年10月 77 Remembrance These innocent messengers wearing plain summer clothes sitting here, by my side smiling at me subtly reveal their old, shy breasts That once ardent voyage that ignorant fatigue all stop in this foreign moment a kindly teary moment Age, so much obeisance local Mandarin (is it necessary?) tender and lustful dentures a gust of fire I concentrate my energies, can see the afternoon breeze blowing across gazes that meet Such melancholy such frank benevolence romantic gaieties of old times Ah, these innocent messengers ceaseless, on the move coyly knocking on the door harboring love and admiration arriving in my life of so few experiences October 1988 78 回忆 我在初春的阳台上回忆 一九八六年春夜 我和你漫步这幽静的街头 直到天色将明 我在幻想着未来吧 我在对你读一首诗吧 我松开的发辫显得多无力 风吹热我惊慌的脸庞 这脸，这微倦的暖人风光 回忆中无用的白银啊 轻柔的无辜的命运啊 这又一年白色的春夜 我决定自暴自弃 我决定远走他乡 1989年3月 79 Memories On a balcony in early spring I recall a spring night in 1986 walking with you on this quiet street till daybreak I was dreaming of the future I was reciting you a poem My loosened hair plaits seemed so feeble Wind warmed my frightened face This face, a tired warm scene Useless silver in memories innocent soft fate white spring night of yet another year I decided to give myself up I decided to break free March 1989 80 骑手 冲过初春的寒意 一匹马在暮色中奔驰 一匹马来自冬天的俄罗斯 春风释怀，落木开道 一曲音乐响彻大地 冲锋的骑手是一位英俊少女 七十二小时，已经七十二小时 她激情的加速度 仍以死亡的加速度前进 是什么呼声叩击着中国的原野 是什么呼声象闪电从两边退去 啊，那是发自耳边的沙沙的爱情 命运也测不出这伟大的谜底 太远了，一匹马的命运 太远了，一个孩子的命运 1989 春 81 Rider Dashing through the early spring cold a horse races in dusk a horse from Russia in winter Spring wind opens its heart, fallen trees open the way a melody resonates in the world The rider in the lead is a beautiful girl Seventy-two hours, already seventy-two She accelerates with passion advances at the acceleration of death What cry strikes the Chinese pastures What cry retreats from both ends like lightning Ah, it is love shuffling by the ear Even fate can’t fathom this grand riddle The fate of a horse is too far The fate of a child is too far Spring 1989 82 望江南 抒情的人在旷野中 他迎接着、关怀着、树起着 ——那春天的形象 抒情的人手拿一把木梳 一把热烈的木梳 他明亮的头发在阳光下闪烁 人们在春天的大地梦游 梅花开满羞怯的山坡 而你，江南游子 一人单独双眉紧锁 缠绵是否太空？ 万种闲愁会是哪一种？ 啊，细瘦的人儿，疲乏的人儿 你看一江春水向东流 1989年3月 83 A View of Jiangnan A lyrical man stands open in the field welcoming, tending, planting the image of spring He holds a wooden comb in his hand an impassioned comb His bright hair shines in the sun Men sleepwalk in the land of spring Plum blossoms flourish on shy hills Wanderer of Jiangnan you knot your eyebrows in loneliness Is sentimentality too empty? Which sadness is sadness? O, thin, tired man Look, a spring river is flowing east March 1989 84 夏日读诗人传记 这哲学令我羞愧 他期望太高 两次打算放弃 不！两次打算去死 漫长的三个月是他沉沦的三个月 我漫长的痛苦跟随他 从北京直到重庆 整整三个月，云游的小孤儿 暗中要成为大诗人 他的童年已经结束 他已经十六岁 他反复说 “要么为自己牺牲自己 要么为别人而活着。” 这哲学令我羞愧 他表达的速度太快了 我无法跟上这意义 短暂的夏日翻过第八十九页 瞧，他孤单的颈子开始发炎 在意义中，也在激情中发炎 并在继续下去 这哲学令我羞愧 再瞧，他的身子 多敏感，多难看 太小了，太瘦了 嘴角太平凡了 只有狡黠的眼神肯定了他的力量 85 Summer Read: Biography of a Poet This philosophy puts me to shame His expectations are too high Twice he planned to give up No! Twice he planned to die Three endless months, his three fallen months My endless suffering follows him from Beijing to Chongqing For three months, the wandering orphan secretly wants to be a great poet His childhood has ended He is already sixteen He keeps saying Either I sacrifice myself or live for others This philosophy puts me to shame He expresses himself too quickly I can’t follow this meaning Brief summer days turn over page eighty-nine Look, his lonely neck inflames inflames meaning, passion and it continues This philosophy puts me to shame Look again, his body so sensitive, so ugly too small, too thin The corners of his mouth are too plain Only his sly eyes confirm his strength 86 但这是不幸的力量 这哲学令我羞愧 其中还有一些绝望的细节 无人问津的两三个细节 梦游的两三个细节 竖着指头的两三个细节 由于一句话而自杀的细节 那是十八岁的一个细节 这惟一的哲学令我羞愧 1989 冬 87 But this strength is a misfortune This philosophy puts me to shame Still some details within to despair two, three details no one cares two, three details in sleepwalk two, three details with thumbs up detail of a suicide due to a sentence It is a detail at eighteen This philosophy puts me to shame Winter 1989 88 1966年夏天 成长啊，随风成长 仅仅三天，三天！ 一颗心红了 祖国正临街吹响 吹啊，吹，早来的青春 吹绿爱情，也吹绿大地的思想 瞧，政治多么美 夏天穿上了军装 生活啊！欢乐啊！ 那最后一枚像章 那自由与怀乡之歌 哦，不！那十岁的无瑕的天堂 1989年12月26日 89 Summer, 1966 O growing up, growing up with wind in three days, just three days! A heart is red The nation is blowing trumpets in the streets O blow, blow, early youth blow love green, blow our thoughts green Look, how beautiful politics are Summer puts on an army uniform Life! Joy! The last Mao badge The song of freedom and nostalgia No! Ten years, perfect heaven December 26, 1989 90 十夜 十夜 十夜，连续十夜 秋天在逼近，树叶在转黄 老师在瘦下去啊 我的书，我的身体 啊，我的，我的，我的 我的每一小时，每一秒 我严峻的左眼代替了心跳 十夜，所有沉重的都睡去 十夜，交媾后的青春、豹 江南和江北都睡去 连续十夜，我躺在床上 连续十夜，十夜压迫我的心房 十夜，十夜 十夜的道路瞭望远方 十夜的少年忘记了理想 十夜，十夜 我面带羞愧来到你们中央 垂下双手，恳请你们原谅 十个夜晚，我听到另一种歌唱 十个夜晚，我听到树木 压倒一切的树木 在我命名的天空轰响 1989年9月 91 Ten Nights Ten Nights Ten nights, ten nights in a row Autumn is near, leaves turn yellow your teacher thins away my books...