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64 AND NAUGHT I HAVE AND ALL THE WORLD I SEIZE UPON We lie down like animals. No, like a woman and an animal. The thrusting, the calling out. Words an animal cannot understand, only turn from or toward in search of meat. Stay, stay. My own hand on my thigh. How escape this? ~ The heart, being full of blood, casts a shadow. And so Abelard was castrated. What was once an impulse now grown to a religion— I must have it, I have to have it. You tell me not to touch you in front of the children. Not that way. And we discuss the difference between to caress and to grope. To grab, to seize. To beg through life, always asking, always wanting, and never satisfied or convinced that whatever you receive is, itself, given willingly or with consent. More and more. ...

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