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20 “This I give you, this I take away.” And the brochures, and the meetings, and the dried-out celebrity on smoke break, and my own mother when I am a child, telling and telling. Do not be afraid or only a little or for the rest of your life. ~ What did I think that I thought it would not matter? There is the shiny pistol my brother leaves on the mantel, the way my father hurls the cat across the room, my own never-ending, my not wanting it to end. City of Blame. City of Praise. 21 To already know me as I will become or am becoming. I should not feel so at home here. ...

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