The Widows' Handbook: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Survival

i am sure

42 the widows’ handbook i am sure Carolyn Stephens i am sure life would be better if i could sleep more than two hours at a stretch. if i did not fall asleep every single night light on book in hand glasses perched on face heating pad for company and letterman in the room with me, gap-toothed grin so like J’s, and then wake up every night for years now always at three —the hour he left us— regardless of what hour i retire, what pill i take, (or what we forsake). tv still on celebrity poker now toxic all those comforts no comfort at all. bereft, mourning 43 i wander the house in the darkest hour of night staring out blackened windows onto wet pavement, wind-whipped leaves. there is still a big hole in the bed. ...