The Days Between: Blessings, Poems, and Directions of the Heart for the Jewish High Holiday Season

Passageways of Grieving

124 ∂ yoM kiPPUr ‫ונחמה‬ ‫אבל‬ ‫שירי‬ ‫אבל‬ ‫לשעת‬ ‫כוונות‬ ‫אלינו‬ ‫מגיע‬ ‫יקירינו‬ ‫מות‬ ,‫מוכנים‬ ‫שאנו‬ ‫כשנדמה‬ ‫גם‬ .‫הלם‬ ,‫בראשונה‬ ‫כמו‬ ,‫ללמוד‬ ‫וצריך‬ ,‫לאחר‬ ‫הופך‬ ‫העולם‬ .‫כהלם‬ .‫לחיות‬ ∂ .‫בשבעה‬ ‫והולכים‬ ‫הבאים‬ ‫מבקרים‬ ‫הזיכרונות—כמו‬ .‫ללכת‬ ‫לנו‬ ‫בנו—ומניחים‬ ‫מחזיקים‬ ∂ ‫ריק‬ ‫חלל‬ ‫של‬ ‫פיסה‬ ‫ממלא‬ ,‫מופיע‬ ‫ויפהפה‬ ‫קטן‬ ‫משהו‬ ‫של‬ ,‫אולי‬ ,‫ראשון‬ ‫רגע‬ .‫נאטם‬ ‫שלא‬ ‫בלב‬ ‫בור‬ ,‫שנותר‬ .‫ריפוי‬ ∂ ‫שזו‬ ‫חשים‬ ‫אנו‬ ;‫יקטן‬ ‫שאבלנו‬ ‫האפשרות‬ ‫את‬ ‫דוחים‬ ‫אנו‬ ‫החיים‬ ‫אך‬ .‫נוכחים‬ ‫הם‬ ,‫אליהם‬ ‫מתגעגעים‬ ‫עוד‬ ‫כל‬ :‫בגידה‬ .‫משתנים‬ ‫הדברים‬ ‫שכל‬ ,‫לאחור‬ ‫ישוב‬ ‫לא‬ ‫שהזמן‬ ‫יודעים‬ .‫האבל‬ ‫אפילו‬ ,‫הצער‬ ‫אפילו‬ ∂ ,‫הטבע‬ ‫העולם—עולם‬ ‫מן‬ ‫חלק‬ ‫שאנו‬ ‫בתחושה‬ ‫נחמה‬ ‫יש‬ :‫ן‬ ָ ‫יש‬ ‫לזיכרון‬ ‫נכנע‬ ‫האבל‬ ‫של‬ ‫החריף‬ ‫הבידוד‬ .‫אדם‬ ‫עולם‬ .‫לבד‬ ‫איננו‬ ∂ Remembering the Lives ç 125 PoeMs oF grieF And consolAtion Passageways of Grieving Shock. Even when you think you are prepared, it comes as a shock.There was one world before—and another world after. And you must learn, as for the first time, how to live in the world. ç They move from room to room, the memories—like visitors entering and leaving the house of shivah, where the bereaved sit in mourning. Coming and going, coming and going. Holding on, and letting go. ç Something small and beautiful appears, filling part of the vacuum that has been left, the hole in your heart that hasn’t closed.The first moment, perhaps, of healing. ç You resist believing your grief will diminish, because that belief feels like a betrayal: as long as you go on missing them, they are present. But life carries within itself the knowledge that time will not be undone, that all things change with time. Even your sorrow, even your grief. ç The solace of feeling yourself part of the world again— the natural world, the human world.The intense isolation of grief succumbs to an older memory: you are not alone. ç 126 ∂ yoM kiPPUr ‫ממש‬ ,‫בשמש‬ ‫שהתחמם‬ ‫עפר‬ ‫בחופן‬ ‫מרגוע‬ ‫למצוא‬ ‫ניתן‬ .‫נולדנו‬ ‫בו‬ ‫הרגע‬ ‫מן‬ ‫ומתים‬ ‫הולכים‬ ‫שאנו‬ ‫ההבנה‬ ‫כמו‬ ∂ ‫והלב‬ ‫הבינה‬ .‫מהסוד‬ ‫חלק‬ ‫שאנו‬ ‫הידיעה‬ :‫התרוממות‬ .‫להילקח‬ ‫לעצמנו‬ ‫מניחים‬ ‫אנו‬ :‫נכנעים‬ Remembering the Lives ç 127 There comes the knowledge that we are, all of us, always dying. From the moment of birth, dying back into the world, out of which we were born. ç A lifting: the awareness that one is part of the mystery. Mind and heart surrender.You let yourself be taken. ...